Boats Against the Current, Borne Back Ceaselessly Into Nick Coleman's Fantasy World

I always thought that the Strib's Nick Coleman was merely dishonest. To wit: In a brazen use of verbal misdirection he claims, as I have chronicled here, that he has voted for only "one democratic winner" in his life. Assuming that he was talking about presidential candidates, there has only been one democratic winner since 1976. And the syntax of his assertion even allows him to weasel out of having to say he voted for Clinton twice. In that same sentence he said that he has voted for Republicans and independents too. I can only assume by "republican" he means "Republicrats" (or the more familiar term: "RINOs"). But I digress.

Coleman's latest condescension, reveals that he may not be dishonest after all; he may just reside on a different planet. If you read the column, note how Coleman, in true far-left-wing form, is prompted to buy a book because of the dictate of a government official.

This column is actually really a yawn-fest about the virtues of the "Great Gatsby" by famous Minnesota Windbag F. Scott Fitzgerald. Everybody knows this book. It's the one that every high school student is forced to read in 10th or 11th grade. Or rather, students read it until chapter 3 or 4 and then run out and buy the Cliff's Notes to avoid falling into a semester-long coma.

Anyway, Coleman's thesis is that this 189-page soft-bound Sominex is as relevant today as when it was written. Coleman interrupts a meandering narrative, the only point of which is to demonstrate how worldly and intellectual he is (apparently Nick actually read "Gatsby" all the way to the end and is buying it to read again), with this:

"The Great Gatsby" is a riveting story of an era of prosperity that was about to come crashing down, a time in between wars when Americans were increasingly wary of the rest of the world and when corruption and the pursuit of wealth corrupted souls, ruined society and wasted lives.

In other words, it is as relevant during the era of George W. Bush as it was during the era of Calvin Coolidge, who was president when "Gatsby" was published almost 80 years ago but who had the luck to get out before the Depression hit.

The same things made the world go around then that make it spin today: Power, booze, sex and money. If you update the cars from Rolls-Royces to Hummers and change the obsession with racial intermarriage to gay marriage, you can transport "Gatsby" to today without trouble.

How does Gatsby make his fortune? Shady business deals. Think "The Great
Halliburton."

Um, Nick: First of all, we are not between wars - we are IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE. Secondly, I remember an era where corruption and the pursuit of wealth ruined society. Remember back during the Clinton Administration when all those wonderful dot-com stocks were trading at around $90 per share the day before those same dot-com companies declared bankruptcy? Remember how people put most or all of their savings into the stocks of those companies because all they saw was the green "up arrow" next to their ticker symbols every day, only to find out too late that the folks running those companies had no business running a public company? Is that the type of pursuit of wealth you are referring to? And what about all those fine people from Enron, Global Crossing and the others who were pulling their "shady business deals" during the Nineties? Janet Reno Didn't facilitate their perp-walks - John Ashcroft did. You probably don't even know what Halliburton does. I'll bet you don't even know what Halliburton did to earn its status as an election year equivalent of a swear word. And by the way: aren't we experiencing the worst economy since Herbert Hoover? So much for pursuit of wealth; brother can you spare a dime?

And one more question, Nick: Whose society resembles the one depicted in "Gatsby" more: That of the Heinz-Kerrys, the Kennedys, the Streisands and the Tina Browns, or that of the Bushes and the LearnedFeet? Case closed.

In other words, Nick: what planet are you on?

Coleman ends his column with his trademark condescension:

There you have it. If you want to ponder the trouble we are in, and want to
do it in good company, join the folks of St. Paul and read "The Great Gatsby."
But if you're easily frightened...

The "trouble we are in"? "Easily frightened" by a book?

Maybe the inhabitants of Coleman's Kool-aid-ville Fantasy Land buy this. The rest of us here on Earth are just fine, thank you.

Jerk.