Thursday, January 13, 2005


Time to check the ol' e-mailbag once again:

I heard that V-Toed-Bill never made it to Las Vegas. What Happened? -M. Green, Las Vegas

When officials in Vegas learned that Bill was unlikely to spend any money there (they probably got that impression here) they refused to allow the plane to land.

I would like to meet you guys at the MOB party on the 22nd. How can I recognize you in the crowd? -A. Stawker, Farmington

Bill will will be the boyishly handsome man, I will be the ruggedly handsome one.

Isn't that description a little vague?

No, not really.

Don't you think that John Hawkins guy at Right Wing News is a little into himself? -D. Trump, New York

Oh you mean that guy who, every Friday, asks his readers to send him questions about what his opinions are on certain topics? Yes. I believe he won a recent blog award for "Most Self-Reverential Blog Post", which could apply to any of his posts, really. In any event, nobody with musical taste as bad as his has any business offering ANY opinions. Period.

His #1 greatest song of all time is "My Sacrifice" by Creed?!!!!!!!!!!!!! -S. Weiland, Rehab

Yes. When perusing his list, you notice that he has never heard of the Beatles or Led Zeppelin either.

How can I participate in Buy a Moonbat a Damn Cheeseburger Day, if I don't know any moonbats? -CT Elder, Minneapolis

You can arrange to have 40 pizzas delivered to the Nick Coleman/Laura Billings Household. Hopefully they will open the gate to their estate and not sic the dogs on the delivery man.

Another highly respected blogger wrote a post about Moonbat-Cheeseburger Day yesterday. In that post he characterized the effort as charitable. Is it? -K. Annan, New York

No. Charity requires a pure heart and intentions of goodwill. When you present the cheeseburger to your moonbat, it is best if your heart were filled with nothing but spite. Polite society forbids the truly best method for delivering the burger to your moonbat.

I have a science question: can animals of different species procreate? -Dr. Morreau, Rochester

It's a little-known fact that they can. For example, when you cross-breed a pig and a sheep, you get this:

Here's what happened when a bald eagle mated with disgraced New Republic reporter Stephen Glass:

Why don't you bloggers stop advancing your extreme right-wing propaganda and do something useful: start sticking up for the downtrodden and minorities? -N. Coleman, PlanetNick

Ahem. I am an Irish-Italian conservative Packer fan in Minnesota: I AM A MINORITY.

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