Wednesday, January 05, 2005

KAR Flash Traffic: The Many Faces of Nick

The Department of Kool Aid Security has received credible intelligence that Nick Coleman may be planning to infiltrate the January 22nd Minnesota Association of Bloggers party.

Because we here at the Kool Aid Report are nothing if not petulant, uh vigilant, Bill and I have already set in motion a number of Top Secret security precautions. We also might try shoving a potato in his car's tailpipe on the day in question.

Because the security of the Minnesota Blogosphere is at stake, KAR resident Photoshop Stud V-Toed Bill has taken it upon himself to create CIA-quality mockups of how Nick might look in disguise (an example of another such project can be seen here). Thus all attendees can be on the look-out lest his infiltration lead to tragedy (in the form of a monotone lecture about good citizenship).

The following are representations of how Nick Coleman might disguise himself:

A cheap toupee:

If his Strib Investigative Journalism Expense Account is something less than Fletch's (and I suspect it is), he may go the cheap and easy route:

Nick the Mullethead:

Amish Nick:

Who's the black private Nick, that's a sex machine to that Billings Chick?

Can ya' dig it?

Finally, the most devious ruse of all: masquerading as one of our own. That's right. I'm talking about...

...Captain Nicksticks!

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