Wednesday, February 02, 2005

LearnedFoot Calls the Nick Coleman Show

It was surprisingly easy to get through. An excerpted transcript:

7:42 AM
Coleman: ...and that's why we need to counter the right-wing noise machine. Let's take a caller. Fred is on line 1. Hello Fred, you're on the Nick Coleman Program.

LearnedFoot: Hi Nick! Long-time listener, first time caller. Love your show. I undestand that you know stuff. True?

Coleman: Why yes, yes I do know stuff.

LearnedFoot: Great! I have a question concerning the Unified Field Theory: When mass surpasses "critical mass", its disassociated gravity passes through the reversion field. Altered to anti-nucleity, it neutralizes nucleity's effect on energy, releasing it. Everybody knows that. My qusetion to you is: Do the two processess disturb the Space-Time Continuum, the Magneticism-Time Continuum, or both?

Coleman: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Let's go to a commercial...

8:05
Coleman: ...and that's how the Power Line bloggers plan to take over America and enslave the homeless. Let's go to line 1 where Bill is waiting to talk to us. Hello, Bill.

LearnedFoot: Yo Nick! I gotta give you serious props, marrying a honey like Laura Billings! She got serious padunk-a-dunk! You got skilz my man. You go Nick!

8:07
Coleman: ...right wing noise machine. Tito is waiting on line 1. Go ahead, Tito.

LearnedFoot: Um, yeah. I'd like to make a request.

Coleman: Shoot.

LearnedFoot: Could you play Inna Godda Da Vida by Iron Butterfly? They rock! METAL!!! Woo hoo!

Coleman: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. I don't think that you, ahhh, understand, Tito. This is not a rock and roll -

LearnedFoot: MET-AL MET-AL MET-AL! METAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!

8:29
Coleman: ...evidence that the air quality alerts of yesterday and today are a direct result of right-wing noise machine wankers. Line 1 - Bruce? You're on the air.

LearnedFoot: (heavy breathing)

Coleman: Hello? Caller are you there?

LearnedFoot: (heavy breathing)

Coleman: Let's go to the news.

No comments: