Friday, March 18, 2005


You might think that the biggest sports story from yesterday was about a bunch of burly men testifying to congress that "Actually, my arms got to be the size of the Alaskan Pipeline over the course of six months because of my rigorous weight training regimen and a steady diet of corn flakes." You silly goose!

Of course, the really big story was that I picked 15 out the 16 winners in the NCAA tournament yesterday in the Non-Gambling Office Pool in which I am participating. (Yes, I also picked UAB to win, but I forgot to mention it when divulging my upset picks yesterday.) My only stumble was the Nevada - Texas game. I picked Texas because I love Tommy Penders. Nobody told me that Penders doesn't coach Texas anymore.

Anyway, there is someone else in the MOB who understands that there are collegiate sports other than hockey.

Thus the gauntlet has been thrown down, picked up, tossed about and spun on the tip of Flash's finger. The wager is as follows - [LearnedFoot's attorney whispers something in his ear].

My attorney informs me that this is not a wager. It's more like a highly legal, er, basketball-game-predicting contest. Because gambling is illegal.

Anyway, here are LearnedFoot's predictions:
  • UWM makes it to the Sweet Sixteen
  • George Washington over Georgia Tech (minus 5.5 points)
  • Illinois keeps with Big Ten tradition by underachieving its way out of the tournament before making it to the Final Four.

Flash says "yeah, right" on all three counts.

And hence the battle is joined.

Since this is a contest, and certainly not a wager, Flash and I are playing only for pride. However, once the outcomes of these, uh predictions are known, the party that was wrong might feel compelled in the spirit of goodwill and sportsmanship to purchase a certain number of tasty malted beverages for the winner, in an amount that corresponds to the number of correct predictions of the winning party.

[LearnedFoot looks at his attorney, who nods and gives him the thumbs-up.]

Bill and I will be in a local Irish pub next Thursday night, so Flash will have the opportunity to demonstrate his goodwill and sportsmanship to me. If you know what I mean.

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