Thursday, March 31, 2005

Hey Left-Wing Fraud Machine? Check This Out.

Dear Piss-brains,

I have been writing and writing to you, and you continue to ignore me.

No, you needn't worry: I have no new news from Milwaukee today. Instead I am writing to give you props. In fact I am rather surprised that you haven't beaten me to the punch with this.

It seems that all of your caterwauling regarding purported voting irregularities in Ohio had some legs after all. Indeed, the American Center for Voting Rights (a nonpartisan 501(c)(3) organization) has completed its investigation and has found widespread wrongdoing in connection with the Ohio election. It has issued a report on the election and referred the matter to the Department of Justice via this letter. Here's an excerpt from that letter (emphasis mine):

As you will see in the report, third party organizations, especially ACT, ACORN and the NAACP Project Vote, were engaged in a coordinated “Get Out the Vote” effort. A significant component of this effort appears to be registering individuals who would cast ballots for the candidate supported by these organizations. This voter registration effort was not limited to the registration of legal voters but, criminal investigations and news reports suggest, that the voter registration effort also involved the registration of thousands of fictional voters such as the now infamous Jive F. Turkey, Sr., Dick Tracy and Mary Poppins. Those individuals registering these fictional voters were reportedly paid not just money to do so but were, in at least one instance, paid in crack cocaine.

Clearly, the conduct outlined in the preliminary report suggests a serious violation of federal law in pursuit of a scheme to illegally influence the outcome of a national election for President.

So I guess you were right when you said that the Republicans were trying to hijack-

Wait a minute.

ACORN? Americans Coming Together? NAACP?

THOSE ARE LIBERAL ORGANIZATIONS! Why would a cadre of liberal organizations try to rig the election so that Bush got reelected? That makes no sense.

Unless...

Oh Lordy, are you guys up to your eyeballs in shit!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Love,

LearnedFoot

P.S. Kool Aid Toast to Swiftee.

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