Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Outsourcing Moron Mail - UPDATED

Blare the B.D.A.R.S:

My son, ask for thyself another kingdom,
for that which I leave
is too small for thee.

-King Philip of Macedonia - 339 B.C. (via Iron Maiden)

I'll bet that I know a guy who would love to eviscerate these two letters appearing today in the Strib even more than I would:

Ready for some fresh air

Nonsmokers, now is the time to show your gratitude for the successful passage of the total smoking ban in bars and restaurants in Hennepin County. When it goes into effect on Thursday, gather a group of fellow nonsmokers, head to a bar or restaurant, and celebrate your right to breathe smoke-free air!

Don't forget to keep going, too. If we ever expect to see a statewide ban on smoking, it will be up to us to prove that we can be a positive economic force for the food and beverage industry.

As for me, I am heading straight to Bloomington to show my appreciation to its City Council for having the courage to be the first to stand up for this critical public health effort.

Ann Berne-Rannow, Eden Prairie.

The majority spoke

Quite a few people have been saying the new smoking ban in bars and restaurants is too much government interference.

But we are the government. And a large majority of us don't smoke, and are tired of smokers inflicting their smoke on us.

Smokers say if we don't like it, we shouldn't go to bars. I want the freedom to breathe clean air. This interferes with smokers' freedom to smoke anywhere they want. This is the conflict we are facing.

But I am not forcing anything into smokers' bodies. They are forcing hazardous chemicals into mine. And it is the proper function of government to resolve conflicts between groups of people.

Scott Nation, Minneapolis.

What say you Aurelius? Got any kool-aid flowing in those veins? Have at 'em.

UPDATE: Marcus has taken me up (sorta). Unfortunately he didn't feel the need to use any of the incendiary language or ad hominem attacks that are the hallmarks of the Moron Mail(TM) franchise.

On the bright side, he did offer a quote that works wonderfully out of context:

I am nothing if not a tool...

Heh. I am pure evil.

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