Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The WMD List

This is one of those inside jokes that Fishsticks hates.

The geopolitical landscape has changed dramatically since the KAR claimed to possess a Weapon of Mass Destruction. It later turned out that when we said "WMD" we meant "Where's My Drink" - referring to a certain blogger's Bloody Mary-fueled weekend rants. The KAR has since been coy about the issue, demanding extortion money from the World Community and expelling the weapons inspectors.

Now, with some crack undercover investigation, KAR has discovered several clandestine attempts by MOB bloggers to acquire WMD.

But there are myriad and veried types of WMD. Let's take a look:

Ryan Rhodes' WMD (Watch My Derierre) program has progressed into its second phase (the program in its infancy as known as "Weapons of Ass Destruction").

The Fraters have made alarming progress in their chemical / biological / distilled spirits WMD project (Windsor, Malibu, Dewars).

Mitch is in the advanced testing stages (using his own laptop as the guinea pig) of his rather bizarre WMD program (Wierd Monitor Distortion).

Flying well beneath the radar, Doug has actually already conducted a successful test of his WMD system (Weaponized Martini Dumping).

Sisyphus has the most advanced WMD system: an insidious device that bores the target to death (Writing Missives about Degas).

In some cases the term "WMD " is not a weapons system, but an overall plan for world domination. Take for instance the Vagina Monoblogger's WMD (Women Marching to Dictatorship).

Finally, there are some to whom WMD is not means or an end, but merely a personna. Swiftee is a good example of this (Whacko Motorcycle Dude).

Let us hope this madness is reined in before it destroys us all. Or at least, makes us too drunk.

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