Thursday, May 12, 2005

Assignments

Having half of my energy sapped by a the hangover resulting from riding the NyQuil Train (Now with opium!) last night, and using the remainder of my energy girding myself to play softball in this "weather" tonight, I'm taking the day off. But like the surly teacher who assigns homework over spring break, I'm not letting y'all off the hook:

HOMEWORK

Nihilist in Golf Pants et. al.: Garrison Keillor is back and he's still not lucid pissed off:

I enjoy, in small doses, the over-the-top right-wingers who have leaked into AM radio on all sides in the past twenty years. They are evil, lying, cynical bastards who are out to destroy the country I love and turn it into a banana republic, but hey, nobody's perfect. And now that their man is re-elected and they have nice majorities in the House and Senate, they are hunters in search of diminishing prey. There just aren't many of us liberals worth banging away at, but God bless them, they keep on coming.

The red meat is on page 2.

Assignment: Ridicule this piece, and Keillor in general, mercilessly.
***

Fraters Libertas and/or Mitch: See Keillor brain dropping above.

Assignment: Ridicule this piece from the perspective of a right-winger (or group thereof) that has seeped into AM radio from all directions.
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Bogus Doug: Read the following letters:

Not open for debate

I breathlessly await the Star Tribune's next poll on civil rights. After telling us that the least educated and most right-wing Minnesotans are most opposed to marriage equality for gays and lesbians, what will those merry pranksters at the paper come up with next?

How about a poll on whether blacks or women should be allowed to vote? Perhaps a poll on whether people of different races should be allowed to marry each other. Such polls would be equally as valid as a poll on marriage equality.

Basic human rights are never a proper subject for popularity contests such as the Star Tribune poll.

Michelle Olson, Minneapolis.

Gov., listen to the Boss

It was Gov. Tim Pawlenty's choice -- and his loss -- to skip the Bruce Springsteen concert on Tuesday night.

Not only did he miss an evening of great music from a thoughtful and talented artist, the governor missed what he most needed to hear: the words of a truth-teller who sees himself in others and responds with compassion, an outlook sadly lacking in the governor's policies.

Julie Gilbert, St. Peter, Minn.

Assignment: Chose one of the above letters and pound the crap out of it. Extra credit if you do so for both.
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Brother Gigl: Study the current status of the Marquette Nickname Kerfuffle. (Also note the poll on the sidebar of that link).

Assignment: 1) Predict the nickname that Marquette Board of Drool Trustees will chose. It need not (and if history is any guide, will not) be one of the answer choices in that poll.

2) Opine as to the nickname they should choose.

3) Rip on Cubs fans. A lot.

Dismissed.

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