Thursday, May 26, 2005

Don’t repeat this, but…

A Newsweek-like anonymous source tells me Nick, Garrison and the rest of the Lefties in the Twin Cities are gathered at an undisclosed drinking establishment tossing back the Scotch and lamenting the end of an era. Katherine Kersten’s debut in the hated S&S, they believe, is proof positive that the MSM has become a puppet of The Radical Right Wing Rove Machine.

In fact, this source tells me that the lead editorial in yesterday’s paper was published shortly before Kersten and her Storm Troopers took control of the oak-paneled room inhabited by the now-deposed pointy-headed editorial board.

“Mr. Rove is pleased with our progress.” an elated Darth Kersten said late last night, “If only we had arrived before they printed that bile about Emperor, I mean President Bush’s judicial nominees. Be that as it may, I can assure you the authors received a fair trial before being beaten.”

As to the whereabouts of Nick and Garrison, Darth Kersten insists there is no great urgency to root them out, “Nick can cause no harm. His columns will be spiked and his radio show, listened to mostly by drooling troglodytes, is certainly of no concern.”

Garrison, on the other hand, has a show to do on Saturday, so we can take him on our own schedule,” Darth Kersten insisted.

If I may editorialize a bit here, and I may: I’m happy to finally see a true, local conservative voice on the pages of the area’s biggest (even if it is shrinking) daily. Today’s column has none of the bleeding-heart emotional swill normally found in a piece about welfare.

I’ve said it before, emotion and reason don’t mix, and I will be proven right when the letters denouncing Kersten are printed over the next few days. The common themes will be “Kersten hats poor people”, “Republicans want to throw poor people on the street”, and “Republicans are uncaring, cold-hearted bastards” “how could the Star Tribune turn their fine paper over to a radical like Katherine Kersten?”

We all know it’s true. They may throw in one, but just one, letter that actually tries to refute the facts Kersten cited. The rest, well they will be typical knee-jerk Lefty responses to a well written, well supported column.

I can’t wait to read them.

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