Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The Foot Once Again Wields the Blue Pen for a More Accurate Blogosphere

Noted boxing announcer and conspiracy theorist Jim Lampley weighs in on last election's "irregularities" today on the brand new Huffington Post (motto: "Because overexposed celebrities who are often quoted in print and interviewed on TV need to have a forum.") (Motto 2: "Conservative porn") (Motto 3: "Because the right-wing blogosphere can always use some more red meat") (motto 4: "Because Ariana really REALLY needs your attention").

Since the Warrior Hermit Monk has already ably fisked this latest example of a left-wing wet dream, I thought I would do a service for those with short attention spans by editing out all the baseless assertions and mindless rhetoric.

The Biggest Story of Our Lives

At 5:00 p.m. Eastern time on Election Day, I checked the sportsbook odds in Las Vegas and via the offshore bookmakers to see the odds as of that moment on the Presidential election. John Kerry was a two-to-one favorite. You can look it up.

People who have lived in the sports world as I have, bettors in particular, have a feel for what I am about to say about this: these people are extremely scientific in their assessments. These people understand which information to trust and which indicators to consult in determining where to place a dividing line to influence bets, and they are not in the business of being completely wrong. Oddsmakers consulted exit polling and knew what it meant and acknowledged in their oddsmaking at that moment that John Kerry was winning the election.
King Baaiejyaniaiaen appears to have exposed this whole John Kerry running 2 to 1 thing as a lie. The first two graphs go as they are a combination of introductory filler material and outright lies.

And he most certainly was, at least if the votes had been fairly and legally counted. What happened instead was the biggest crime in the history of the nation, and the collective media silence which has followed is the greatest fourth-estate failure ever on our soil.

Any evidence for that Lamp? Lawsuits? Investigations? etc. Didn't think so. The entire graph goes. Onward.

Many of the participants in this blog have graduate school educations. It is damned near impossible to go to graduate school in any but the most artistic disciplines without having to learn about the basics of social research and its uncanny accuracy and validity. We know that professionally conceived samples simply do not yield results which vary six, eight, ten points from eventual data returns, that's why there are identifiable margins for error. We know that margins for error are valid, and that results have fallen within the error range for every Presidential election for the past fifty years prior to last fall. NEVER have exit polls varied by beyond-error margins in a single state, not since 1948 when this kind of polling began. In this past election it happened in ten states, all of them swing states, all of them in Bush's favor. Coincidence? Of course not.

First stricken sentence: What about grad schools in the hard sciences and engineering? Not much reason to do "social research" in those.

Second stricken sentence: No, we don't know that. There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Remainder of stricken sentences: a link or two to verify this assertion would be nice. Instead Lamp gives us a statement that may or may not be true; and even if true, does not necessarily tend to prove his point. Unless you don the tinfoil hat and can posit with a straight face that voting machines are easier to mess with than an exit poll.

Karl Rove isn't capable of conceiving and executing such a grandiose crime? Wake up. They did it. The silence of traditional media on this subject is enough to establish their newfound bankruptcy. The revolution will have to start here. I challenge every other thinker at the Huffington Post: is there any greater imperative than to reverse this crime and reestablish democracy in America? Why the mass silence? Let's go to work with the circumstantial evidence, begin to narrow from the outside in, and find some witnesses who will turn. That's how they cracked Watergate. This is bigger, and I never dreamed I would say that in my baby boomer lifetime.

More hysterical conspiracy theorizing without a whiff of evidence. And of course, the equally hysterical call to action. By the way Lamp, check out my 73 (or so) part series about real, actual, provable election fraud in Wisconsin. Here's a sample. Try writing while using facts, for a change. Of course it was your side perpetrating the fraud in Wisconsin, so I won't hold my breath waiting for you to work from the outside in with the circumstantial hard evidence in that case.

So let's look at what we have left (and you'll forgive me for taking some liberties with that last paragraph):

The Biggest Story of Our Lives

Many of the participants in this blog have graduate school educations.

Wake up. Huffington Post: cracked baby boomer[s].

Funny: that's just as lucid as the original without all that added fantasizing. Maybe the HuffPo should hire me.

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