Monday, May 09, 2005

Mauve FAQ

What is the quickest and easiest way to get lynched by a bloodthirsty throng of pencil-necked poindexters? - W. Shatner, Hollywood

Publish something like this.

So Mr. Foot: are there any misconceptions about the KAR Mauve bloggers that you'd like to clear up? - A. Stawker, Hennepin County Workhouse

Looks like they've finally put you on Lithium. Bully for you!

Yes there are a few:

1) One or two of the lefty bloggers who have been monitoring us (anticipating some sort of formal declaration of Theocracy or transmission of Right-Wing Nutjob marching orders, no doubt) have referred to us as "Republican activists". This is insipidly laughable. The closest any of us have come to activism was when Bill sent $50 to the Bush campaign so he could get one of those European-style "W" bumper stickers.

Activists generally exist for the attention they receive from making asses out of themselves in public while spewing talking points at anyone who'll listen. We're too busy doing constructive things with our lives to be described in such a manner. Holding an opinion that derives from the opposite side of the political spectrum that you are on does not make one an activist. And for the record, I'm not even a registered Republican, and have never given a dime (or minute of my time to any political cause.

2) We are neither "soft" (I have the calluses and Bill has the mental scars to prove it), nor are we "middle aged", nor are we "giggly", nor were we ever "frat boys" (although word has it that Dementee may have been - think Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds). The person who wrote that set a standard for the greatest number of factual errors and inaccuracies per sentence outside the 7 to 9 am time slot on Air America Minnesota.

Oh, and I made we all made it through college quite easily. Even without having to resort to taking an "American Studies" course. Oddly enough, I didn't have too many problems with law school either; a tribulation that would have caused the brains of certain rolley poley bloggers to explode.

What characterizes "poor writing"? -L Tolstoy, Frogtown

Using 5000 words to communicate an idea that merits no more than a sentence. And that practice doesn't say much about the idea either.

Why Mauve? -J. Mayo, First Ring Suburb

Unlike the Marquette University Board of Moonbats Trustees, who based their decision on the tertiary color of the team's uniforms, our decision to go with Mauve derives from the three distinct personalities who contribute to this blog. Mauve is comprised of three colors:

Red - symbolizing Bills "aw shucks" Red State Values;

Blue - symbolizing LearnedFoot's Bloody Mary fueled blue-streak rants; and

Brown - represents Dementee by incorporating what we hypothesize would be the color of regurgitated monkey spleen.

Oh, and don't think that we didn't notice that we're not on your blogroll, Joe.

Is there any hope that the Marquette University Board of Arrogance Trustees will come to their senses and rethink their decision? - Denbo, Menomonee Falls

Be careful what you wish for. If they reevaluate the nickname again, it's an even-odds bet that they will come up with this:

The Marquette s

Better to leave bad enough alone.

You right-wing wingnut moron! I bet you agree with that Yost jerk that unions suck! Don't you realize that unions built this town? -N. Monkey, St Paul

No, people built this town. Unions merely ensured that those of vastly disparate competence got paid the same wage.

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