Thursday, May 19, 2005

What I Learned From NMN(*) This Morning

(*) Nonmonkey News.

Since KAR was snubbed by the Governor, we had to relay on the Nonmonkey Radio Craptacular to get the skinny on what exactly went on inside the mansion's walls that night (and inside the heads of those in attendance):

- Captain Ed has a gay man-crush on Governor Snub.

- The Canadian scandal Ed has been covering has dropped off the face of the earth because nobody cares about it.

- The Guv. scratched the bellies of all present at the reception, while they sat on his lap.

- (Me reading between the lines) The Gannon/Guckert scandal that had "new information" released a couple of weeks ago causing Nonmonkey to go into a materbatory frenzy speculating about Don Rumsfeld getting hummers in the White House has dropped off of the face of the earth because right wingers control all of the media.

- Kennedy v. Machine is run by an anonymous blogger (named Gary Miller)

(His wife's name is Jean)

(Who's a real estate agent)

(And he lives in Minneapolis)

(And he likes Miles Davis and Metallica)

- Something about "beer hall short-pants guys."

- If you have are invited to the governor's mansion, you are ipso facto the Governor's monkey. The fact you agree with him on a wide range of issues is irrelevant.

- Therefore, I can conclude that since the KAR and NIGP crews were not invited to the governor's mansion, we truly are the only free and independent thinkers that are major links in the right-wing daisy chain.

- Therefore, everbody should vote for the free-thinking and independent non-monkey candidate Sisyphus for Governor/President in 2006/2008.

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