Tuesday, May 03, 2005

When an Idiot Runs a Business

This is too wonderful to pass up. As the LA Times hemorrhages readers, its Executive VP and General Manager (soon to be Publisher and CEO), Jeffery M. Johnson, is lying like Bill Clinton.

Jeffey had to reach way back into his throat to hack up this loogie. Its thick and green, but it aint gonna stick:

"These circulation declines are driven by the same issues that impacted our September circulation statement. These include the transition to more targeted sales channels from a heavy reliance on telemarketing and the decision to deliberately reduce certain types of circulation, such as third-party bulk sales. The reality is that it takes two six-month reporting statements to cycle through these changes.

What will Jeff say six months from now when the circulation numbers are circling the low part of the bowl just before their sucked into the pipe with the rest of human waste?

Your piece of crap paper is dying Jeff. Don’t you get it? It’s dying a slow, agonizingly painful death. The same death all Lefty rags (and Out of Air America) are doomed to meet if they continue to push the bankrupt ideas of the Great American Left Wing.

We’re talking “Ash heap of history” stuff here, Jeff.

We the people ain’t buying the solid waste troweled on the pages of the rag you produce, but you keep spewing and people keep canceling. Some businessman you are.

You and colleagues are so myopic you can't see that the public is getting news and information in ways you never dreamed possible. And like a good Lefty, you have no new answers.

The answers you do have prove you don't give a damn about your readers or what they want:

A $10 million marketing campaign? How about spending the money to create a product people want to buy rather than repackaging the claptrap you have today?

A new Senior VP level position? Way to solve the problem, pal. Bring in vetran high-level manager that suffers from the same ailment as you.

New circulation programs? I smell a "limited time, low, introductory rate". What a great idea, Jeff. Did you get that from the credit card companies your editors love to pillory?

You are lost.

Your product sucks, your customers are leaving, and you intend to get them back by offering them a deal to keep the garbage they just threw away.

You're not only lost, you're a raging idiot too.

Ponder this: When the LA Times dies, can it print its own obituary?

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