Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Rat Farts!

The American Film Institute released its list of the top 100 movie quotes of all time.

The following films are notable by virtue of the fact that each had only one quote that made the list:

Animal House, and...

Caddyshack.

!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

You have GOT to be kidding me. Caddyshack could have filled the list alone. Granted, the line they went with was a good one ("Cinderella story, kid outta nowhere..."), but there are so many great lines in that movie that people have been known to hold conversations that consist only of lines from Caddyshack.

Here are some that were missed:

* We've got a pool and a pond. The pond would be good for you.

* Don't sell yourself short judge - you're a tremendous slouch.

* I don't play golf... for money...against people.

* Oh Mrs. [Forgot her name], you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between. Bark like a dog. Bark like a dog!

* License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit, ever. They're like the Viet Cong - the Varmint Cong.

* Pick up that blood!

* TY: You take drugs Danny?
DANNY: Every day, sir.
TY: Good. Good.

* TY: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny.
DANNY: It's hard when you keep talking like that.

* He called me a baboon! He thinks I'm his wife!

* Hey Wang. This is an exclusive club - don't let them know you're Jewish.

* This is a cross of Kentucky Bluegrass California Sensemilia. The great thing about this is that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus on it that night on this stuff.

* I was born to love you
I was born to lick your face
I was born to rub you
But you were born to rub me first

* I wanna be good, sir!

* And of course:

So I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace - striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga munga. Gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the round and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort," and he says, "Oh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

By no means an exhaustive list. Discuss.

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