Friday, July 08, 2005

KAR FAQ 6 or 7

So Foot, what is the stupidest letter to the Strib that you've seen today? -A. Stawker, Farmington

The one that compares the Governor's advocacy for a racino to "crimes against humanity":

Hostage to a racino

Hostage taking is a crime against humanity and abhorred by civilized countries around the globe. But this is exactly what Gov. Pawlenty has done to the state of Minnesota. He uses and abuses the right to work of 9,000 innocent people in order to advance his agenda of a new racino in a state that is already awash with gambling opportunities.

Robert Malecki, Brooklyn Center.

When you look up "hyperbole" in the dictionary it says: "ROBERT MALECKI IS A BIG FAT BRAIN DEAD LOSER WHO THREATENS OUR VERY EXISTENCE AS HUMANS BY KILLING PEOPLE SLOWLY WITH HIS STUPIDITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Can you cite an example of a remark that might expose someone to a slander lawsuit? - D. Durbin, Chicago

Off the top of my head: "That guy from the kool aid report tried to rape me." would probably qualify.

I read that post, it seems like it might be satirical or tongue-in-cheek. Wouldn't that remove it from being subject to a libel suit? - L. Hand, 2nd Circuit.

I couldn't tell. The rest of this guy's writing is so incoherent, the comment in question may have been slipped into a recipe for curry chicken for all I know.

I mean, can you really decipher writing that features sentences like:

This brings a lot of questions to the table, but we'll cut the incongruity and go straight to the appealing ones.

or:

Think again, go see this, and have fun ripping your frontal pole out like I did. I now think I'm on TV, drrrooooolllllll.

It reads like stereo instructions poorly translated from Japanese.

Speaking of recipes, I was wondering if Dementee had any interesting ways to prepare moonbat? - Margaret, Minneapolis.

Dementee?

ME LOVE TASTY DISH CALLED "BEER CAN MOONBAT"!!!! YOU TAKE WHOLE MOONBAT AND SEASON IT WITH PARSLEY, TARAGON AND THYME!!! CAN ADD A LITTLE CAYENNE PEPPER TO GIVE IT SOME POP TOO!!!!! THEN SHOVE HALF-FULL CAN OF BEER UP MOONBAT BUTT, AND GRILL FOR 30 MINUTE!!!!!!! YUMMY!!!!

RECIPE WORK GOOD ON CHICKEN TOO!!!!

The punchline is: "Because they saw Nonmonkey coming up from behind them." What is the question? - L. Bruce, Duluth.

The question is: "Why did 450 sheep jump off a cliff?"

I noticed that after a brief stint on the MNSpeak Aggregator, KAR was dumped from it in favor of, er, lesser blogs. What gives? - M. Bachmann, Stillwater.

Who knows. Could have been our edginess. Could have been our comment policy. Could have been that they had to boot us to make room for blogs that obsess over whether certain state senators hide in bushes, have connections to David Duke, were or were not assaulted in public rest rooms, Mitch Berg etc. Because the masses really REALLY want to read about that stuff.

[Here LearnedFoot checks the blog-in-question's TTLB ranking]

Oh wait - I guess they don't.

Added note: oddly enough, being dumped from the aggregator hasn't hurt KAR's traffic. Go figure.

I want to buy somethin' sexy for my lady. Any ideas? - B. White, Minneapolis.

You can't go wrong with a KAR thong!

No comments: