Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Lines, Lines, Everywhere There's Lines

Sigh. Nothing to get the blood boiling today. Same ol' "Karl Rove" this and "Supreme Court" that. Even the Strib's opinion page - usually rife with stupidity - is, well, still rife with stupidity; but it's a benign kind of stupidity.

Let's go with some filler material.

A few weeks ago, we took a trip down the 19th fairway together, reminiscing about all the great lines from Caddyshack that were ignored by the AFI when it compiled its list of the 100 most memorable movie quotes. Instead, we got "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

Well there were other egregious snubs as well. Not one quote made the list from either This is Spinal Tap or Stripes.

Here are a few for the AFI's consideration, if it ever chooses to rectify its errors:

SPINAL TAP

* You can't really dust for vomit.

* Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

* NIGEL: (Playing a classical-sounding piece on the piano) I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those. It's like a Mach piece, really.

MARTY: It's pretty. What do you call this?

NIGEL: I call it "Lick My Love Pump".

* It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.

* These amps go to eleven.

* The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich".

STRIPES

* My friends call me Ox. I don't know if you've noticed, but I got a slight weight problem.

* We're soldiers; but we're American soldiers. We've been kickin' ass for 200 years. We're 10 and 1.

* Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual.

* You are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy.

* He blewed up, sir!

* Army training, sir!

* That's a fact, Jack!

* PSYCHO: The name's Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, I'll kill you...Also, I don't like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meathooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. And I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you *homos* touch me, I'll kill you.

SGT. HULKA: Lighten up, Francis.

There's many many more. Feel free to fill in the blanks.

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