Dear Lint Suckers:
Sorry I haven't been keeping in touch. I've been very busy with my weekly vacations. Fortunately, here in Minnesota, the government has been shut down, meaning that life has ground to a halt. Half of the population has nothing to do, while the other half is so panic-stricken that they are cracking each others' skulls open and feeding on the goo inside.
Gladly, I count myself among the former half.
Just thought that you might like to know that the feds are starting to file charges against members of your little cabal in Wisconsin:
The latest criminal charges filed over suspect voting in Milwaukee during the Nov. 2 election accuse two cousins of illegally casting two ballots each that day.
Federal prosecutors on Thursday charged Theresa J. Byas, 48, and Brian L. Davis, 36, with double voting, a day after charging another voter with that offense and two others with voting while serving parole or probation.
The complaints do not indicate the maximum penalty if convicted, and federal prosecutors could not be reached for comment late Thursday.
I hope the maximum penalty involves prison time. I know that child molesters endure a, uh, hard time in prison. Maybe perpetrators of election fraud are lower in the pecking order:
Biff: What're you in for?
Shiv: Double homicide.
Biff: Mmm. Cool. And you, little man - what'd you do?
Brian L Davis: I voted for John Kerry twice.
Biff: Shiv? Go get me a broom handle.
Oh, and it looks like they'll be lining up more prison-bitch fodder real soon:
More charges appear likely to trickle in during the coming weeks. In May, U.S. Attorney Steven M. Biskupic and Milwaukee County District Attorney E. Michael McCann jointly announced their investigations had preliminarily found more than 200 cases of felons voting before their sentences were up and 100 cases of double voting or voting under falsified names or addresses.
To be fair, the two most recently charged Defenders of the Franchise do have an alibi:
...Byas told Officer Neil Saxton that she and Davis had tried to vote at the N. 20th St. school but were sent away - without filling out any forms - to a second polling place, which redirected them to the N. 25th St. school, where they voted.
But, I'm guessing that their public defender's butt puckered when he read the next line of the story, spelling out a key piece of evidence:
However, Byas admitted to Saxton that the registration cards from both polling places "contained her handwriting and her signature," the complaints say.
If Black's Law Dictionary had an entry for the phrase "evidence of scienter," that little piece of information would be listed as Example A.
So, let's recap the score:
Charges relating to illegal voting activities filed in Wisconsin: 5 (and counting)
Charges relating to illegal voting activities filed in Ohio, Florida, etc.: 0
Please be sure to send me your new address in the hoosegow, so we can continue our correspondence.