Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Some Predictions About the Coming Senate Confirmation Poo-Flinging Contest

Time to dust off my Nostradamus hat and take a look at what the impending Senate confirmation hearings of John Roberts will hold:

1) Of course there will be the usual boring abortion questions from the left; idiots like Chucky Schumer and Barbara Boxer will preen in front of the cameras, belching out lefty talking points calculated to make "abortion rights" look like the sole and overriding reason that the framers enacted the Bill of Rights.

Yawn.

There will be different case that the Dems will make asses of themselves demagoguing: Hamdan v. Rumsfeld.

In the Hamdan case, just decided last week, the DC Circuit Court of Appeals reversed a district court ruling that the United States Military could not use military tribunals to try enemy combatants captured in the course of fighting the Islamo-fascists. It was a unanimous opinion.

John Roberts was one of the three judges to pass on that case.

Expect the debate to go something like this:

Moonbat Senator: Roberts will trample your civil liberties! Just look at the Hamden case! Has he no respect for due process of law?!!

Senator With a Brain: It was a unanimous opinion, jerk.

MS: Yes but all three judges in that case were appointed by Republicans...

SWB: ...Who were overruling a flaming moonbat judge who was appointed by Bill Clinton.

MS: Oh yeah - well, you smell!

SWB: F**k you, jerkoff.

MS: You wanna fight, wingnut?

SWB: Bring it, yo.

[Senator With a Brain fells Moonbat Senator with one bitch-slap.]

"Cooling saucer" indeed!

2) Noted arch-conservative and Marquette Alumnus Denbo will become so frustrated with the confirmation proceedings that, in a fit of depression, he will eat two pounds of bacon in one sitting. Raw.

3) The phrase "John Roberts is out of the mainstream" will be uttered by a Democrat once very 3.7 seconds. In fact, people will get so tired of hearing the phrase "out of the mainstream" that many will resort to pulling their eyeballs from their sockets and cramming them in their ears, just so they don't have to hear it any more.

3.5) "Out of the mainstream" will be redefined as meaning: "the 50% of this county's population that thinks that Roe v. Wade was a poorly-reasoned and disastrous decision that further usurped the power of the popularly elected plenary bodies of federal and state governments to dictate public policy, and cemented the Warren Court's vision of fashioning the Supreme Court into an imperial force, accountable to no one."

4) It is very possible that we will see Ted Kennedy actually explode into a smelly red cloud of flesh, sinew, entrails and Chivas Regal.

Hopefully, Pat Leahy will be standing next to him when it happens.

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