[NOTE: The following post is rated R for strong sexual content and nudity]
Sisyphus may be on to something with his improvement of the dusty old art of classic rock song parodies by making them crassly commercial. Two birds with one stone and all that. I think I'll take a stab at morphing a classic rock tune into a catchy jingle.
This may very well be the post that gets KAR kicked out of the MOB.
(Sung to Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit)
One pill makes you larger
For hours, you won't be small
And the ones they call "Cialis"
Don't do anything at all
Just call Pfizer
If you have balls
And if you go chasing women
And you know you're going to score,
Pop a Viagra with your Pina Colada
And take the little soldier to war
Just call Pfizer -
You'll have a ball!
Grab onto the headboard
And give her some affection
And you just had some purple pill
You've got an erection!
Go ask Pfizer -
But you should know:
Don't take Viagra if you have heart pain
And you could go blind or meek
And talk to your doctor immediately
If your boner lasts a week
So, remember, before you unhook her bra:
(*) There was a stanza here, but it was waaaaaaay too dirty, so I took it out.
UPDATE: Replaced it with a cleaner version.