Tuesday, August 09, 2005

KAR FAQ 37

CAUTION: The following post contains a crude remark. [As if you'd expect anything different.]

So, does David Strom really think you're handsome? -A. Stawker, Farmington.

Yes! Unfortunately, his wife Margaret - the more gender-appropriate and cuter member of the Our House tandem - has remained silent on the topic of my hotness.

There are rumors circulating that Nonmonkey is no longer on Air "America" Minnesota. Do you have any info? -MDE, Parts Unknown.

Well, any reference to him has been removed from their website. *sigh* The KAR material mine has been depleted by 25%.

Do you really plan on booting the Head of Alfredo Garcia if the poll result so dictates? -The Head of Alfredo Garcia, Shoreview.

Yes.

No, really? -The Head of Alfredo Garcia, Shoreview.

Yes, really.

What is the coolest thing you heard today? - K. Couric, New York.

While driving to work this morning, I listened to the play by play of the Space Shuttle landing. The voice from Mission Control:

Discovery is at 5,000 feet.

[One-Mississippi, two-Mississ-]

Discovery is at 3,000 feet.

Two thousand feet in less than 2 seconds! Yeehaaa! The last time anyone went that fast, they were on Highway 36 and paid $130 for the experience.

Where's Bill? -A. Stawker, Farmington.

This is a very frequently asked question. Normally, V-Toed Bill's absences are due to his very demanding career in the sales and marketing (S&M) field. Bill is often so occupied with his S&M exploits, that he rarely can untie himself long enough to write a meaningful post. He and his S&M cronies crack the whip pretty hard.

However, Bill's latest absence is a result of something else. V-Toed Wife insisted that they both go on the South Beach Diet. As a result of a very lettuce-intensive diet over the past few days, Bill lacks the strength to operate a keyboard.

As an aside, I think that it's a sad commentary on America when the South Beach Diet is still used by millions of people, while a diet that encourages the ingestion of all manner of bacon-wrapped meats goes bankrupt.

A local idiot blogger recently made this remark about your fine blog:

Seems like there's no tolerance for thinking outside the box over on the Kool Aid Report.

How do you respond? Is it true that you do not tolerate "thinking outside the box"? -T. Swift, St. Paul.

KAR is staffed by four (soon to be three) males. Qua males, we are always thinking about being in the box, so to speak. According to some studies, these thoughts occur once every 2 minutes or so.

UPDATE:

Have you added anybody to your "Shit List" lately? -R. Nixon, Peta Luma.

Why, yes. Mitch Berg just made it.

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