Thursday, August 04, 2005

LearnedFoot Comes Out of the Closet

I have a secret past that I need to get out in the open. The guilt I feel from leading this double life has pushed me to the edge of insanity.

This is very hard for me.

Confessions of this nature are always difficult. You simply don't know how people will react to the news of your heretofore secret life. Will they feel betrayed? Disgusted? Supportive?


Well, I might as well just come out and say it.


No. I can't.

But I should.

OK. Here goes...

Back in law school, I was a member of the Federalist Society.

No. That's not truthful enough.

I was the vice chair of my chapter of the Federalist Society.

Wow! I feel better already! That was a heavy load to carry lo these 3 years.

Oh sure, I actually tried coming out before. But I know that I was only fooling myself: nobody read KAR back then.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not ashamed. My tenure with the FS was wonderful - nay, magical! Those somewhat secret meetings that you never knew whom would attend, because anybody might feel invited by those flyers we posted around the building. And those guest speakers we'd invite to address the student body ("presented by the Federalist Society")! And those somewhat secret public debates. Oh, those debates!

I mean, when you're a member of a somewhat secret club like the FS, danger could lurk around every corner. You could be outed by anyone who saw you surreptitiously skulking in to the meeting room. You could be assaulted by a US Senator. Danger was everywhere.

But not anymore. I'm free.

Wow this feels good. WHEW!

While I'm at it, I have something else to confess:

I actually hate Iron Maiden. My favorite group is the Starland Vocal Band.

(Kool Aid toast to hottie columnist / blogger Michelle Malkin. Thanks for watching my back, babe!)

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