Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Nonmonkey Returns; Bones Picked Clean By 9:30am

The MOB's favorite pinata returned today. Before I even noticed, pretty much anybody who regularly shoots NM for sport had already pounded the crap out of his latest snotfest, leaving me absolutely nothing to add.

So I have just a couple of things:

1) Bob, the ubiquitous troll who's a bigtime bar / restaurant smoking-ban advocate finally graces KAR with his presence in the comment thread to Dementee's post yesterday. Footrios, KAR's Haloscan god of Lucidity, gives him a small taste of his own medicine. Check it out. It's pretty sweet, if I do say so myself. Also, feel free to taunt Bob. He deserves it.

2) In a Strib editorial today that is written in such a way that easily facilitates a fisking, the following sentence appears:

Three military veterans in the Senate -- one a Vietnam POW, one a military lawyer, one a veteran of both World War II and Korea, and all Republicans in good standing -- want Congress to prohibit the "cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment" of all people detained by the U.S. military, no matter what their status.

What the hell is a "Republican in good standing"? Is that one that's not on Double-Secret probation? One that is up-to-date with his CLE credits?

I have a feeling that what the Strib thinks a "Republican in Good Standing" is differs quite a bit from what a person with enough brain cells to fill his skull thinks one is.

3) [Anal Retentive Reader: Hey! You said you only have a "couple of things" to write about today. Three is not "a couple". Three is "a few"!

LearnedFoot: Where's that cricket bat? Ah.

WHAP WHAPO WHAP WHAP WHAP]

Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes:

3) By far, the funniest thing I have seen in a long time, was the response to this post and that of KAR Special Guest Blogger "The Head" by the obnoxiously obsessive stalker loser herself (emphasis mine):

Learned Foot and the Head of Alfredo Garcia over at Kool Aid Report seems rather annoyed at Dump Bachmann's popularity. I think they are mad that Dump Bachmann didn't deem Bachmann's appearance at Keegans important enough to cover.

DB's "popularity"???????

[Here, LearnedFoot pauses to allow everyone to stop laughing hysterically].

[Two hours later:]

This is the typical M.O. of Obsessive Stalker Loser. She reads just enough of something to determine that it is about her (and absolutely no more), and then proceeds to print something that a) misses the point entirely; b) completely mischaracterizes the thing she has just (barely) read; and c) always always always inflates her own importance.

In my "Hubris" post, I lampooned Obsessive Stalker Loser's over-the-top gigantically bloated sense of self importance.

She takes this to mean we are annoyed by her vindictive-teenage-girl-revenge-webpage-like blog's "popularity".

Let's take a look at said blog's "popularity".

Just to give a frame of reference:

Population of the City of Stillwater: 15,143

Population of the 6th Congressional District: 720,995

(Census data here)

Obsessive Stalker Loser Blog traffic: 132 hits / day

To further illustrate, assuming that the 132 hits / day represents one hit per person (it doesn't) and they all live in the relevant region (they don't by a long shot), we get the following percentages:

If all OSL blog readers lived in Stillwater, they would comprise .87% of Stillwater's population.

If all OSL blog readers lived in the 6th Congressional district, they would comprise a percentage so small, my calculator cannot compute it.

And how many times has that blog been mentioned in the newspapers?

In any event, it's no surprise that nobody wants to read a blog that specializes in googling its target's name and playing 6 Degrees of Separation From David Duke.

Important and Popular!

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