Monday, August 22, 2005

OPG: I'm Sorry, and I'm Hammered

EDITOR'S NOTE: Here is the latest dispatch from Obnoxious Packer Guy. Previous coverage by KAR and Nihilist in Golf Pants of OPG's confrontation with Bob Slowik are (in chronological order) here here here here here and here.

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Dude. I'm here on location at the Up and Under Tavern on the East Side of Milwaukee. I'm on my 7th pitcher and feelin' fine.

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Oops.

I had to return home because the fine proprietor of Da Up-n-Under told me that she had been experiencing cash-flow problems since I left. Being the charitable soul that I am, I immediately abandoned Camp McKenzie at the foot of Bob Slowik's lzdskvmldm
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Sorry. Fell off my barstool.

Well, I've been here alone - save for Kowalski the bartender - since 10am, so I've had a little time to do some soul searching. This is somewhat hard for me to say, but here it goooooooooooooooooooooooooool,vcx cdas vasdv avva

Ahem, goes:

I'm sorry. I've been an ass. For me to use the pants-soiling of my young daughter in an attempt to humiliate an NFL coach is unforgivable. Sure, I have a right to speak my mind; but just because some right exists doesn't mean that said right ought to always be exercised. Especially in the cynical and crass way I did it.

I allowed myself to become manipulated by certain factions of the radical fringe of the far-flung Packer Nation. Most notably the "Houston Cabal" and the Svengali-like Packalope. I now realize that they used me to aVDS SVCZVCVD
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advance their own anti-Slowik agendas. I am above that, and should have respected my daughter's incontinence by not being taken in by them.

Again I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(Whoops, passed out for a moment there)

sorry.

Now I must turn my attention to my true mission in life: informing anybody who'll listen that the Bears suck.

Out. srd gshtsr jnsmnshjnzath hmnyjndt

UPDATE: I just took another look at the Packalope's picture, and he looks an awful lot like Sisyphus...

Developing...

UPDATE 2: The Bears suck.

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