Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Pounding the Crap Out of an Insipid Talking Point

I think Maureen Dowd was the first to use it. But she's a semi-insane self-loathing feminist who often drifts into and out of lucidity.

But the Strib editorial board must have gotten the memo, as indicated by today's institutional voice dreck. When you hear a familiar phrase in a Strib editorial, it's a certainty that it went from Lackoff's lips to Steve Berg's ears.

I'll avoid being too coy by giving you a hint as to what the moonbat talking point is in this excerpt from today's Strib drivel (HEY! New word: Strivel! Me so smart):

A new antiwar movement is being born this summer on a Texas roadside. It presents a much different face -- feminine, older, wiser, and filled with grief and righteous indignation. The face is that of mothers who lost sons and daughters in Iraq, first Cindy Sheehan of California, and now more, including Minnesota state Sen. Becky Lourey.

The moral authority of the blossoming movement's face is undeniable and, despite concerted conservative efforts to discredit it, unassailable. Even those who disagree with the antiwar encampment's contention that the war in Iraq is delivering none of its promised gains for this country are obliged to concede that Sheehan and other Gold Star mothers have the right to express their sorrow and anger as they see fit.

Were you able to figure out my subtle clue?

Good. Let's continue.

'Kay, in order to have moral authority to speak on the topic of the war (but only if your position is anti), you must have lost a child in that war.

Fine. But let's be intellectually honest here, shall we, you drooling imbeciles?

Here are the new rules of debate and public discourse as framed by the luminous geniuses at the Strib:

1) You are without moral authority to speak out against this country's energy policy as it relates to petroleum unless you:

a) do not ever use a car or bus to get anywhere,

b) the electricity for your dwelling is wholly supplied by your own windmill (that is not lubricated by any petroleum product);

c) you only patronize businesses that generate their electricity with their own windmill; and

d) your bicycle contains no plastic.

2) You are without moral authority to speak about a perceived lack of school funding unless:

a) you pay property taxes; and

b) you send / have sent your children to a private school, thereby subsidizing your own children's education in whole, and someone else's children in part.

Note to Rule 2: You may be allowed to broach the issue of public school funding if you eschew speaking ill of, and get down on your knees and thank, one of those parents who does pay their children's own way through school while continuing to subsidize the education of strangers. The import of this note is that we will never ever see another idiot column on the topic of public education by certain neo-socialist non-simian "journalists".

3) You have no moral authority to advocate for higher taxes "on the rich" unless you are a member of "the rich".

3a) If you live in a hovel on the east side of St. Paul and you put a sign in your yard that reads "Happy to pay more for a better Minnesota" knowing full well that any tax increase handed down from the capitol would never make you "pay more" taxes, you have no moral authority on anything. Period.

4) You have no moral authority to say that the "Packers suck," or any statement of similar derision, if your team has never in its history had a lead in the Super Bowl.

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