Thursday, September 22, 2005

OPG: FREE THE PACKALOPE!

The latest dispatch from Obnoxious Packer Guy:

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It has come to my attention that the Green Bay Packers will no longer allow the Packalope to wear his trademark antlers - indeed the very thing that makes him the Packalope - at Lambeau Field. All I can say is that this is a disgrace:

Superfan Larry Primeau, a k a the Packalope, has been forced to shed his trademark Pack helmet with its deer antlers because new stadium protocols specifically mention "antlers" as potential weapons.

It's time to wake up people! They are trampling on our civil liberties in the name of "safety", and no one is speaking out! And what's next? First it's antlers; next thing you know they'll be confiscating our brandy-filled pocket flasks!

And by then, it will be too late.

And it's oh-so-obvious that only Packer fans are being singled out. Take a look around the league. There's that fat idiot at Vikings home games who rides around on a Harley in an indoor stadium! Hellooooo? Carbon monoxide poisoning anyone?

And don't even get me started on the Bears, who are so bad their entire team is like some gigantic weapon of mass suckiness. What about all those poor Bears fans in Chicago? Aren't they entitled to protection from the huge Suck Monsters of the Midway that take to Soldier's Field 8 (and never more than 8) times a year?

Eh, on second thought, we're talking about Bears fans here. Let 'em die.

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