I decided to do a little bit of investigating. I have to say I'm completely shocked by what I found. THOUSANDS of Minnesotans have so far failed to attack the Vikings debauchery. I am apparently surrounded by perverts!
A partial list:
- Former governor Arne Carlson. On the one hand, it's disgusting. On the other, it's good to see the old guy still has a taste for rampant debauchery.
- Pioneer Press food critic Nancy Ngo has said nothing about the Sex Cruise, thus betraying a taste for naked football players. Whoah - don't touch that salad, you don't know where it's been!
- For that matter, Eva Young, despite having asked about half a dozen times why Senator Bachmann hasn't come out against piles of writhing Vikingflesh on the floor of our currently-recessed Senate, has not condemned it herself. Hmmmm. Curious.
- No word on whether Christina Aguilera has condemned the orgy. Or was involved, for that matter.
- Father Dennis Dease, president of the University of Saint Thomas? Not a single word. Parents, don't send your kids there!
- Strib Saint Paul columnist Joe Kimball? Nuthin'.
- But here's some good news: Charlize Theron is apparently also a supporter of lewd public whammajamma! She has not said word one about the Vikings' behavior. Yay!
I must be pervert, too!
WHEN WILL IT END, OH SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH?