Monday, October 31, 2005

HELP!

Will one of you kind folks please tell me what the hell the following letter means? I hate to reprint it in full, but you’ll want to reread it several times before submitting your response.

Enjoy:

The recent article about a pregnant 12 year old alongside the coverage of the Vikings lake cruise points out the enduring misunderstandings and fear surrounding the most basic of human characteristics.

Girls of age 12 are increasingly ready to bear children by virtue of a good diet and natural biological development
[Sound of head being scratched]. Of course what's lacking is a comprehensive values based factual education about the risks of early sexual activity. We adults are too embarrassed to allow the teaching of these subjects [More head scratching due to complete confusion over the previous statement].

The Vikings also suffer from a lack of values based education. Their recent activities on the "love boat" reveal a serious lack of judgment while reinforcing the male female double standard about sex. (It's OK for guys but not OK for girls.) [Blood is beginning to pour from the scratch marks as I recall the backlash against the slime-ball players, not the hookers/strippers/sluts] For both groups the early understanding of human sexuality and the values connected with personal conduct would have helped prevent these unfortunate incidents.[how about a simple understanding of right and wrong?]

But I forgot...we already have a "family values" regime that silences discussion of these vital issues [trying to bandage bloody scratch marks but the blood is seeping through the gauze as try to reconcile why this piece of bat dung has been printed if talk of sex has been outlawed by the W regime] while promoting failed policies like "abstinence only" and similar fantasies. How well does this work? Just read the paper to find out.

GEORGE HUTCHINSON, MINNEAPOLIS

There you have it, the Minnesota Viking Orgy and 12 year old girls getting knocked-up are W’s fault.

Is this schmo can’t be serious. How exactly can he say that a “values based” education is necessary and then shoot down the very value – abstinence - that will keep a 12 year old girl from becoming a mother?

My guess is George Hutchinson of Minneapolis values the in-school distribution of condoms and offering abortion services during recess.

Could it be that George would like to teach the classes himself, complete with visual aids?

I have two daughters myself and I think I’ll remove the “good diet” variable in hopes of delaying the day on which they will be ready to bear children.

From now until they day they’re married, it’s chips and soda for every meal.

Veggies are out.

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