Monday, October 31, 2005

KAR's Birthday Wish List

November 5th is KAR's one-year anniversary. Since that date falls on a Saturday this year, we're going to party all week long.

Since you still have the better part of a week to get us a present, here is our wish list:

* The Vikings go on a sex boat hooker cruise every single week.

* Eva Young's computer gets a virus that causes the "copy" and "paste" functions in her web browser to stop working. Permanently.

* I have a fever. And the only prescription is more "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" parody songs.

* MNObserver continues not to see the inherent irony when she labels Katherine Kersten "Minnesota's Worst Writer".

* Katherine Kersten loses the "Shaft" hairdo.

* Mitch Berg devises a method to limit the comments frequent Shot in the Dark commenter / DNC talking-point regurgitator "PB" to 10,000 words or less.

* The conventions of haiku are altered to allow for 25 syllables.

* Google buys out KAR for $47 million.

* Monday through Thursday funnies.

* To one day - and I realize that this may be a pipe dream - make "Atomizer's A-List."

* Or failing that, Sisyphus' Rock Solid in the Blogosphere.

* That upon the successful completion of his factfinding mission here on earth, the Mother Ship returns to take Nonmonkey back to his home planet of Ghassbaigh. During the mission debriefing, he is given several anal probes until his debriefers discover he enjoys the probes so much that they find an alternate, more painful method of extracting his brain for downloading.

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