Monday, October 24, 2005

LearnedFoot's Week 7 Breakdown

I gave Obnoxious Packer Guy the day off. He tried to throw himself off a cliff yesterday. Fortunately he was drunk, so he missed. I figured he need a break.

So OPG's weekly duties fall to me. I am not exactly on my game today, since I am still recovering from a nasty bug that siezed my body about half-way through 4th quarter yesterday. I believe it may have been the bird flu, or possibly bubonic plague. Whatever it was it made me feel as though I had been run over by a bus while hallucinating and being stabbed repeatedly in my stomach. The Packers have frequently made me barf, but given the other symptoms, I think my illness was caused by some microbe that's almost as bad.

Did I mention the projectile vomiting? It looked like spinach gatin floating in the toilet.

Anyhoo, I have two unrelated observations about yesterday's action:

First, en route to the Vikings achieving their annual Ultimate Goal of beating the Pack's second and third-strings (which is notable, since most teams aspire to the somewhat less lofty "making the playoffs") and Saving the Franchise, this game blessed us Packer fans with a moment of clarity:

Mike Tice completely and utterly outcoached Mike Sherman in the second half.

Mike Tice is the worst head coach in the history of football.

Anybody who is outcoached by Tice in any given 5-minute span - let alone an entire half, does not belong in the NFL.

Therefore, Mike Sherman must be fired.

Plus - and long-time KAR readers are already aware of this - Mike Sherman looks like a pear:

Second, and more importantly, I further cemented my place in football prognosticating immortality this weekend:

3 FOR 3!!!!!!!!!!!



Since I get nothing but intangible, psychic pleasure from a Packers' win; but I get the very real benefit of "more beer" for each game I pick correctly, I feel fine.

Other than the occasional spinach gratin barf.

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