Sunday, October 16, 2005

Vikings and NFL: Street toughs rule the Asylum

I am just listening to the last few seconds of the Vikings/Bears game, and the Vikes are about to go down in flames on the field for the fourth time in five tries this season. By now, everyone knows what has been going on with this team for the past week. What many may not realize is that this scandalous behavior is not uncommon for the Vikings, and may even pale in comparison to some of the off-field exploits of other NFL teams. Our Viking sailors were just too stupid to make sure the pleasure cruise didn't have unwilling participants onboard - namely, the charter boat crew.

The Vikings as a team, and the whole NFL, have been in a moral decline for about 20 years. The problem? Most NFL teams, including the Vikings, seem to be populated with street thugs. What is my evidence?


  • Players that seem to have every visible part of their bodies tattooed

  • A disproportionate number of players that are arrested for street crimes

  • Players who cannot read or write or speak proper English, despite graduating from college

  • Players who when not in team uniforms sport the garb of gang members (hats turned askew, long-slung baggy pants, and the rest of that crap)

  • The prevalence of "Gagster Rap" as the choice of music eminating from locker rooms during post-game interviews


What really chaps me is the way the NFL tres to portray all of its players as upstanding people of high moral fiber. What a bunch of garbage. If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and sounds like a duck, it probably is a duck. And if it looks like a gang member, acts like a gang member, and sounds like a gang member, it probably is a gang member.

The problem with the Vikungs and the NFL is that everyone is afraid to say that the emperor has no clothes. They are afraid to admit that a large portion of their "talent" are really just common street thugs. The NBA has the same problem, and it is starting to manifest itself in more graphic fashion. I would lay better than even odds that there will be an on-playing-surface shooting within two more years somewhere in major league sports.

The Vikings' escapades this week just show you how little these idiots care about decent behavior, or otherwise traditional moral boundaries. Until the NFL is capable of dealing with the fact that most of its personnel are people of questionable character, the "Love Boat" episode, and worse, will be common occurences.

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