Monday, November 21, 2005

BREAKING NEWS!!! DEMENTEE CONCEDES!!!!


Dementee issued the following statement at an 11:00 am CST press conference:

IT WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT ME NOW ANNOUNCE ME WITHDRAWAL FROM CAMPAIGN!!!! ME CALL BOGUS DOUG AND OFFER DEMENTEE'S WARM CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! DOUG WISH ME WELL!!!! HE CLASS ACT ALL THE WAY!!!!!!

BEFORE DEMENTEE LEAVE, ME WISH TO ADDRESS VILE AND SLANDEROUS ALLEGATIONS MADE AGAINST DEMENTEE!!!!! ME WANT YOU TO PAY ATTENTION BECAUSE ME ONLY GONNA SAY THIS ONCE:

ME DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATION WITH THAT WOMAN, KIM JONG IL - ER NO -ME MEAN... AW CRAP!!!!! LEMME START OVER.

ME DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH DONNA RICE. ME JUST WANTED TO EEEEAAAAAT HER -

OH SHIT!!!!! THAT SOUND BAD!!!!!

WHAT ME MEAN TO SAY IS THAT DEMENTEE FRAMED!!!!!!! ME VEEEERRRRRY ANGRY!!! NOT ONLY DID ANONYMOUS "SOURCE" TARNISH DEMENTEE'S REPUTATION, BUT ALSO REPUTATION OF OLD GIRLFRIEND CRACK WHORE BARBIE!!!!! ME WILL NOT REST UNTIL ME FIND PERSON WHO LEAKED PHOTOS AND EAT HIM!!!!!

ANYWAY, ME NOT A CROOK, AMD DEMENTEE HATE YOU AND HATE YOUR ASS-FACE!!!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!

EXCEPT FOR MOONBATS!!!!!!

BECAUSE DEMENTEE EAT MOONBATS!!!!!

BYE-BYE!!!!

No comments: