Friday, November 04, 2005

Fisking Nonmonkey Isn't All That Fun Anymore

For someone who considers himself a "legitimate journalist," he tends to leave gaping holes in his story.

To wit: all one needs to do to fully fisk today's drivel, is to just keep repeating the same four sentences:

Torture doesn't always start in jail. It starts in memos from "torture lawyers."

Did you read these memos? How about a quote? And how are you defining torture? Is waterboarding and sleep deprivation the same as pulling out toenails or pumping voltage into a person's wiener?

That's the label critics of the Bush administration give government attorneys who wrote the memos that approved the use of harsh interrogation techniques on terror suspects.

Did you read these memos? How about a quote? And how are you defining torture? Is waterboarding and sleep deprivation the same as pulling out toenails or pumping voltage into a person's wiener?

The lawyers under fire include Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, Vice President Dick Cheney's new chief of staff, David Addington, and, closer to home, a professor at the University of St. Thomas School of Law named Robert Delahunty.

Delahunty vehemently denies that he condoned torture. But his name is on an Amnesty International list of government lawyers Amnesty says should be investigated by lawyers' professional responsibility boards for "failing to meet professional responsibility standards."

Did you read these memos? How about a quote? And how are you defining torture? Is waterboarding and sleep deprivation the same as pulling out toenails or pumping voltage into a person's wiener?

Delahunty was a government lawyer who helped draft a 2002 memo arguing that the protections accorded to prisoners of war under the Geneva Conventions did not apply to members of Al-Qaida or the Taliban.

Did you read these memos? How about a quote? And how are you defining torture? Is waterboarding and sleep deprivation the same as pulling out toenails or pumping voltage into a person's wiener?

"That was one of the notorious memos responsible for the breakdown of standards for treating prisoners and undermining the Geneva Convention," says Amnesty's Jumana Musa. "Attorneys at the highest levels of government tried to find ways around the law."

The principal author of the memo was John Yoo, a deputy assistant attorney general who now teaches law at the University of California, Berkeley. In a move seen as a brazen provocation by local human rights activists, Yoo has been invited by the law school's Federalist Society to speak here Nov. 16. The faculty mentor for the society is Delahunty. He and Yoo have been making a vigorous effort to rebut the claims they gave legal cover to the use of torture.

Did you read these memos? How about a quote? And how are you defining torture? Is waterboarding and sleep deprivation the same as pulling out toenails or pumping voltage into a person's wiener?

"That's an irresponsible, false charge," Delahunty says. "I'm against -

Oh hell. I give up. I'll answer the above questions for Nick, since he doesn't:

1) No.

2) If he didn't read the memos, how is he going to quote them?

3) Whichever definition supports Nick's pre-drawn conclusions.

4) Given the answer to #3, yes.

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