Not since Marion Barry was framed by a Washington D.C. hooker, has there been such outrageous allegations hurled at a mayoral candidate.
As my good friend said at the time, "The goddamn bitch set me up."
I am disheartened by this ugly turn of events. Never have I encountered such scurrilous attacks against my character. I hope these false accusations do not dissuade the good people of the KAR Nation from voting for me.
Therefore, an effort to reclaim my good name, I’m offering a tube of cookie dough smack to anyone who sees through this attempt to sway the electorate and votes for me.
Peace out, Brother Barry.