Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Of Throwing Towels and Aspersions

Flash has thrown in the towel. The Foot v. Flash Frenzy For Football Cred ends prematurely with Flash suffering a humiliating (and nearly very expensive) defeat. The final tally shows that I beat him by 11 following a very lackluster 1-2 weekend on my part.

I would like to thank King Baniaiaiaian for hosting our little party. He did a hell of a job, and -

OBNOXIOUS PACKER GUY: Wait one damn minute!

LEARNEDFOOT: What the hell do you want?

OPG: I smell a rat.

LF: Come again?

OPG: You were uncannily accurate in your predictions. I think that you had "help".

LF: What exactly are you accusing me of?

OPG: I demand a full investigation! Not only were you suspiciously good at picking point-spread winners, but I have a feeling that you knew that a hurricane was going to hit New Orleans when you encouraged me to go there!

LF: Now hang on there -

OPG: Say... You're part Italian, aren't you? Isn't the Mafia Italian?

LF: Have you been hitting the sterno again?

OPG: I heard that the Mafia has fixed a ball game or two in the past...

LF: This is insane -

OPG: Shut up, you! I am invoking KAR Rule of Procedure 52 to conduct a closed hearing, so that we may discuss these irregularities. [OPG starts throwing canoles at LearnedFoot] Do I have a second?

DEMENTEE: ME SECOND!!!!!!!!!!! MOTION CARRY!!!!!! WILL SERGEANT AT ARM PLEASE CLEAR GALLERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The text here has been redacted in accordance with KAR Rule of Procedure 52]

[One hour later]

NIHILIST WANNABEE BILL: Gosh golly gee willikers. That was a waste of time!

HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: Yeah. What was the point? All he did was rant about not getting his way for 45 minutes. Shit, if he didn't pass out, we might still be in that meeting room.

LF: I think that he's just upset that I haven't seen fit to publish any of his ramblings for over a week. He was just making a spectacle of himself.

DEM: [quoting Shakespeare] TALE TOLD BY IDIOT!!!!! FULL OF SOUND AND FURY!!!!!!! SIGNIFY NOTHING!!!!!!!!

HOAG: Amen, my brother from another mother. What a pathetic display of grandstanding nonsense.

NWB: I'm so upset, that I need to go home and decorate a pie.

[The other three look at Bill, puzzled]

NWB: What? It's therapeutic.

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