Thursday, December 08, 2005

Books that Would Make Good Christmas Gifts for Your Lefty Family and Friends

December 25th is closing in fast, and you still haven't found the right gift for that raging moonbat in your life. You could get them a book, but they already own four copies of all of Noam Chomsky's collected works. What do you do? What do you do?

Here's a handy list of books that you can be sure your spittle-flecking placard toter doesn't yet have:

The Idiot's Guide to Drawing Valid Distinctions. The perfect how-to book for that Democratic Senator on your list who has trouble seeing the difference between Pol Pot or an Islamofascist terrorist and an American G.I.

How to Annoy a Conservative Blogger, by PB; With an Afterword by Eva Young. Frequent Shot in the Dark comment thread gadfly PB walks you through the process of writing long, semicoherent comments in conservative blogs that are only tangentially related to the actual topic at hand.

Why Humor is Funny, by Dave Barry. Actually, this is one of his earlier columns (which, unfortunately, cannot be found online), that is just right for that mirthless, self-important, kool aid-drinking party hack pseudoblogger who hates your guts but is, for whatever reason, obsessed with everything you write, and just cannot leave you alone.

A Dictionary. Essential for lefties of all stripes who have trouble with the English language. With a Dictionary, that lefty on your Christmas list will finally be able to learn the definitions of words like:

* "Lie"

* "Mislead"

* "Cut" (as in "budget cut". EXAMPLE: "An 8% increase in a budget line item is not a cut in funding, even if the funding increases in previous years was 10%.")

* "Rich"

* "Torture"

The Big Book of Top 11 Lists, by Sisyphus and The Nihilist in Golf Pants (Not yet released). Only give this gift if your lefty has already read and mastered the Dave Barry title above.

No comments: