Tuesday, December 27, 2005

An Extremely Important Message from the Managing Editor

If the ego-shattering hit to our import in the grand scheme of things political wasn't bad enough, it has come to my attention that the Kool Aid Report contains a grave inaccuracy.

Not in our content, but in our very name.

As many of you know, this blog was invented shortly after last year's election in response to the veritable army of lefties all barfing out the trope in every place possible that 52% of the electorate are a bunch of dumb and unteachably ignorant troglodytes. The "nya nya nya nya you're stupidheads!" meme became so pervasive, that it motivated us to spit back at all those "Kool Aid drinking morons."

Of course, the well-worn "Kool Aid drinker" cliche comes from the infamous incident where cult leader Jim Jones coerced hundreds of his followers into a mass "suicide" via a poisoned grape drink. Most people think that drink was Kool Aid. In fact, it was not.

The cyanide vehicle Jones chose to exterminate his flock was a cheap knock-off of Kool Aid called "Flavor Aid". I've never had Flavor Aid before, but I assume that it was the Grain Belt of fruit flavored soft drinks. You know: an affordable crappy substitute for a quality product.

In any event, for the sake of accuracy, we can no longer call this blog the "Kool Aid Report". Since Jim Jones never served Kool Aid, the phrase "Kool Aid drinking moron" was devoid of meaning ab initio. Instead, the phrase should be "Flavor Aid drinking moron". "Flava Aid" is an acceptable substitute if you're going for those urban sensibilities.

Since it would be wrong to continue naming this blog after an historical inaccuracy, effective immediately (or whenever Bill makes the new header), the Kool Aid Report shall henceforth be known as "The Flavor Aid Report." Consistent with this decision, we will also have to replace Kool Aid Guy with a Flavor Aid-appropriate mascot.

Please update your - er, whatever - accordingly.

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