Friday, December 23, 2005

Fisking the Grinch Bitch: Part 2

Welcome back to you all,
My readers so dear.
To view the first part,
Simply click this link here.

One more reminder
The parents don't flip their lids:
The language in the post below
Is definitely not for kids.

Thus we return to this tale
Told by the schnookiest of schnooks.
And we continue to pummel
On this dumbshit called "Brooks":

Then he said with a smirk, "I know just what to do
To destroy all the joy in the land of the Who!
I think I can end that PC Who peace.
This year, not one Who will enjoy his Roast Beast!

And here I must ask:
What what planet is Brooks from,
Where the PC movement hasn't caused division
And is not universally regarded as dumb?

No, the real Grinches who destroy and demean,
Are the fucknobs who sue at the sight of a manger scene.

"Here's just how I'll do it:
I'll tell each Who Christian
That the liberal Whos have devised a new mission
To take away Christmas!
To mock and destroy
Till no little Who Christian is left with a toy!
And when secular Whos -- most likely Who Jews --
Attempt to deny it? Why,

"I'll bluff and I'll lie; I'll sow seeds of mistrust.
Soon they'll form battle lines into
Who 'THEM' and Who 'US,'
Based on which Whos prefer
To sing out, 'Merry Christmas'
And which Whos say, 'Kwanzaa!'
Or 'None of your business!

Oh Rosa, list me one lie
Oh please please please please
Surely you can name one Bill lie
Unless you're a rhetorical dicktease.

I'm scanning the column
And see not one - not one - supporting fact.
The truth is he never lied
And you are a stinky ass crack.

There is no bluff or lie
That you can point to today.
But it must be some sort of liberal reflex
To call nonliars liars anyway.

They'll get so confused and so MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD
That they won't even notice the way
They've been HAD!
They'll be so busy squabbling
They won't notice the war!
They won't care if Who rich
Start to trample Who poor!
"Forget torture, and terror, and taxes and health!
They'll waste all their time on some red-hatted elf.
"And the Who Consti-Who-tion?
They'll stretch it or burn it!
If it came as a gift, they would try to return it

Ahhh there it is;
Because it's so notable, I have to mention
This particular lefty trope
Directly led to KAR's invention:

"You're stupid! You're dupes!
You're easily manipulated!"
Us red staters were told
While these "intellectuals" mentally masterbated.

"Your unteachable ignorance makes us tear out our hair,
You vote like goober globbers, and wave flags like rubes at the fair!"
On points like these it's not wise to linger
Better to move on and flip her the rhetorical finger:

People like Rosa calling people like me dumb
Is so funny, and I love it.
But so far she has a thesis without support,
Which is truly stupid - so she can shove it.

"The Who Christians will think that they fight the good fight,
They won't know that they're puppets of the Fox-ville Far Right.
They'll forget all that DRIVEL about faith, hope and LOVE
And say 'Merry Christmas' with a sneer and a shove.

Did you catch that
Oh ye', 75% of the nation?
You're puppets and dupes!
This is what we call "stupidity inflation."

"But I? I will prosper! My ratings will soar,
And maybe at last they'll forget I'm a BOOR.
Then for every Who Christmas tree
A most fitting adornament:
My O'Reilly MUG on the tackiest ornament!"

Pay attention so you get what I mean:
Rosa calling Bill a "boor"
Is like the hostas in the garden
Calling the lawn "green".

And this dumbfuck Rosa doesn't know it
Since she has the brain of a flea,
But all the profits from Bill's swag
Goes to charity.

Not that it matters,
To her, Bill's a beast
Any resemblance to "truth"
Doesn't matter in the least.

... And what happened then?
Well, the rest's up to you.
But I know what I'd like this holiday season:
A little less NOISE and a little more reason.

Well, if it's "reason" you seek, here's what you sensitive atheists must do:
Every time you see or hear the word "God" in public, resist the temptation to sue!

For, while you think Christans always get their way
And you may have had the law bended
There still is no Constitutional right
For you not to be offended.

If a nativity scene in the public square
Constitutes the "Establishment of Religion,"
Then I'll wager that drinking a quart of antifreeze
Will improve your vision.

So Who Christians! Who Buddhists! Who Muslims! Who Jews!
WHOever you are, just say NO to Fox "News"!
If you don't want to lose the whole Who Consti-Who-tion
It's time to reject the Far Right Revolution.
So turn off O'Reilly and everyone shrill,
Let's have some peace
And old-fashioned GOODWILL

Thank God this rant is over
I'm sick of this retard.
Hey Rosa: shove it up your Christophobic ass
And then twist it really hard.

To the rest of you out there
Who possess more than one brain cell:
Merry Christmas, Happy Channakah Honnukah Festivus
And we wish you all well!

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