Sunday, December 04, 2005

Flash Marks the Path to Righteousness

Thanks to Flash, I now know how to be a better person.

In fact, at Flash's next birthday party, I am going to piss on his hostas. When they die, I will buy him a new hosta bulb and apologize, thereby proving that I am an honorable man. Perhaps even more honorable than I was before I condemned Flash's poor hostas to a horrible urine-soaked death.

Unless...

What if Flash was politically sympathetic to the deceased hostas? After all, they are rather delicate, pansy-assed plants with no cognitive abilities, and therefore must be part of the Democrat Party's "base". Maybe Flash wouldn't look to kindly upon me pissing all over his comrades from the Plant-based Community. Perhaps in this instance it would actually be the forgiver who had suffered the loss who was the stand-up guy instead of the punk who pissed willy-nilly around the garden.

Just a thought.

Not that I would ever (EVER) piss on Flash's hostas. I am a class act, after all.

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