Friday, December 16, 2005


Now that I have your attention, here is the real topic of this post:

Free beer.

The Girl and I had a Daddy / Daughter date last evening. We went to the newly-opened -

MOONBAT TROLL: Ha ha! Look everybody! He's going on a date with his daughter! I told you these wingnuts were inbred hicks!

[LearnedFoot grabs his sawed off shot gun, pumps it once, and blows Moonbat Troll's head off.]

Ok where was I?

Oh yeah: we went to the newly-opened Apple Valley branch of Major's Sports Cafe. I have been to the Bloomington outlet of MSC a couple of times, and loved it. From all appearances, it's a sports bar. Then you look at the menu...

It ain't bar food. Oh sure, it has buffalo wings (which are quite good). But it also has prime rib. And it's not that crappy gristle-riddled shoe leather prime rib that you can get at the Cherokee Sirloin Room; it's well cut, appropriately seasoned, and cooked competently -


Anyway, I thought it'd be a good place to dine with The Girl for an hour before we had to pick up The Boy from Grandma's. So off we went. Shortly after we were seated the waitress came over to take our drink orders. She informed me that it was happy hour.

"Oh. What are your specials?" I queried.

"Free beer from five until six," came her stunning reply. I glanced at my watch: 5:03. Thinking that this offer was surely too good to be true, I pressed her to find out if the beer that was being offered wasn't just a plastic Dixie Cup half full of some undrinkable crap like Grain Belt.

"Which beer is free?"

She proceeded to list all the beers they had on tap.

I sat stunned and motionless for a moment. I quickly regained my wits when I realized that my watch was relentlessly ticking towards six o'clock, and ordered a Summit.

"Can I have a free beer too?" The Girl asked me.

"Not until you're fifteen. You can have a Sprite," I told her.

"Yay!" At this moment we were both extremely happy as the waitress went off to fetch our drinks.

55 minutes and four beers (full pints!) later, I paid the tab and asked her if this free beer thing was merely a temporary, grand opening-related deal. She told me it was not. Free beer Thursdays - every Thursday - between five and six o'clock. I drooled on myself and nearly broke down in tears.

Those of you MOBsters who reside in or near the lovely and bucolic South o' the River Suburbs hear my plea: let us form a South of the River division of the MOB to meet occasionally at Major's. This place must not repeat the fate of it's failed predecessor, Bilimbi Bay. We need to keep Major's open.

Added bonus: being in Dakota County, there's no smoking ban for miles around.

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