Tuesday, December 20, 2005

An Interview With OPG

Many have lamented the lack of posting by Obnoxious Packer Guy. I managed to locate him, and below is a transcript of a telephone interview I conducted with him.

LF: You've been MIA for some time. Where have you been?

OPG: Well, 'bout a month ago, some "friends" of mine staged an "intervention." According to them, I hadda "alcohol problem." They checked me into a "rehab" facility, where I hadta address my "addiction." I was recently discharged.

LF: So you're clean and sober now?

OPG: Yep.

LF: Good for you. How are you handling your new sobriety?

OPG: No problems. Watching that sorry excuse for a football game last night was a little [*hic*] rough. But I's-a made it through [*hic*] OK.

LF: You don't sound -

OPG: Can I tell you something, Foot?

LF: Sure -

OPG: I love you, man!

LF: I, uh love you too?

OPG: Hey! You hittin' on me [*hic*]???!!! What are you, some kinda homersekshul?

LF: You're drunk right now, aren't you?

OPG: No I'm not!

LF: Yes you are.

OPG No I'm not.

LF: Yes you are.

OPG: No I'm not.

LF: Yes you are.

OPG No I'm not.

LF: Yes you are.

OPG: No I'm not.

LF: Yes you are.

OPG No I'm not.

LF: Yes you are.

OPG: ...

LF: Hello? OPG?

OPG: Hello? OPG not here now. This Dementee.

LF: Dude, that is the worst Dementee imitation I have ever heard.

OPG: Not imitating. Me real Dementee. Me hate moonbats. Me gonna eeeeeeat you. And so on... [*hic*]

LF: I'll call you back later.

OPG: Me go help Bill decorate pies now.

LF: Goodbye.

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