Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Moron Mail

Even though the Nihilist in Golf Pants is your one-stop home for all of your Brokebutt Mountain Bareback Mount Him Poopdick Mountain Brokeback Mountain humor-related needs, I'll cover the letters to the Strib angle here.

And so onwards in this Brave New World, where the word "cowpoke" now has a somewhat different definition than in days past (the name of the writer has been changed to protect the insipid):

See 'Brokeback'

I encourage anyone who has compassion and an open mind to go see "Brokeback Mountain." It is so much more than a "gay cowboy" movie.

At a time when so many of us are lost in what legal rights gays and lesbians should have, this movie shows so much of what real love is. The love Ennis and Jack have is just as real and just as relevant as that of any heterosexual couple.

Niles T. Ingolfpants, PLYMOUTH.

Indeed the love is just as real as that of any other couple who both betrayed their spouses to engage in gross fuzzy-butt-man love. Possibly involving assless chaps.

What's next? Are you going to tell me that King Kong is an allegory for the racist legacy of the 19th Century American slave trade?

Uh oh:

Skip 'Kong'

A Dec. 21 letter writer who enjoyed "King Kong," in dismissing James P. Pinkerton's Dec. 20 insightful commentary on how the movie is racist, wants to know, "Why does it have to be dissected?"

The reason is this: It is important to acknowledge those subtle and not-so-subtle influences in our society that cause harm to the self.

The racist messages in this movie don't go away after you leave the theater. They stay in the heart and mind, and will, in time, overflow into perceptions of those who are not a white, middle-class, suburban and middle-aged male like me.

As much as I do not want to be a racist, I am. Why? Because I have been exposed to racism; mainly, but not always, against my will. For my own good I need to dissect those things that may enhance my already twisted views of race.

That is why I won't be going to see "King Kong" no matter how "amusing, entertaining, predictable yet suspenseful" it may be. Garbage in, garbage out. I have too much garbage in me to contend with as it is.

STEVE SELFLOATHINGNUTJOBWHONEEDSTOGETALIFE, HOPKINS.

Errrrrrrrrrr. Or maybe -just maybe - (and I may be going out on a limb here) it's a film about a ten-story tall ape run amok in Manhattan, complete with cool special effects, lots of violence and a hottie boombalottie leading lady.

Steve's right about one thing: he does have a lot of garbage in him. Hopefully next time, he'll try to keep it inside.

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