Friday, January 27, 2006

The Blog Mart

A weekly survey of the pulse of the blogosphere. (For more about the reasons behind this exercise in banality, click here.)

the blog mart learnedfoot

Red lycra-clad moonbat causes stir

The blogs were all atwitter this week about the release of a photo showing British MP George "The Animal" Galloway wearing a shiny red skin-tight leotard. Many bloggers seized on the MP's fashion faux pas, and piled on the scorn and ridicule. Blogger Learned Foot of Kool Aid Report blog (1) twisted one of Galloway's own quotes, writing: "You once were a corrupt flaming moonbat. Now, you are a retarded-looking gay robot, dancing with a transvestite."

However, Chief from the Freedom Dogs blog (2) envisioned the spandex beclad Galloway more as a Godzilla-like monster wreaking havoc on downtown Tokyo. Meanwhile Sisyphus at the Nihilist in Golf Pants blog (3) hypothesized that Galloway "was convinced by Christopher Hitchens that chicks love a guy in a red bodysuit."

Bloggers take self-assessment quizzes to find out which inanimate object they are

As is often their wont, many bloggers took fun online personality inventories discover what metaphorical object they might be. Blogger Doug Williams of the Bogus Gold blog (4) discovered that if he were a car, he would surely be a Porsche. Meanwhile Jerry Plagge of the SD63 blog (5) found out that his Hillbilly name would be "Butch Tucker."

But not all the quizzes bloggers took this week turned out positively. For instance, blogger Kathy of the Cake Eater Chronicles Blog (6) was chagrined to discover that her answers to a quiz indicated that she "smells like butt."

Apparently online personality quizzes aren't for everybody. Once again, nobody at the Kool Aid Report blog(7) participated in one.

Bloggers are dorky

Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine released its Hipster Survey this week, and bloggers were not amused. Blogger Chad from the Fraters Libertas blog (8) snarked: "It's tough to decide which one of these folks you'd least like to have to spend ten minutes with." Tacitly suggesting that the proclivities of so-called "hipsters" are just a wee bit pretentious and out of the mainstream, blogger Learned Foot of the Kool Aid Report blog (9) offered an alternative survey with more blogger appropriate questions such as "Where do you beer?" and "Why are you so damn ugly?"

Wonkette update

Wonkette (10) still sucks.

Bloggers excoriate morons

A lot of bloggers wrote about morons this week. Blogger Dementee of the Kool Aid Report blog (11) had this to say about a smoking ban proponent: "Kathy you are an ignorant, arrogant piece-of-crap moron."

From the left side of the blogosphere, blogger Smartie of the Power Liberal blog (12) gave his own slant on the tried and true fisking of a moronic letter to the Strib (with his apologies to the Kool Aid Report blog (13)), by titling a post "Moron Mail."


SEE FOR YOURSELF HOW TO FIND BLOGS ONLINE:

1 The Kool Aid Report - http://koolaidreport.blogspot.com/
2 Freedom Dogs - http://www.freedomdogs.com/
3 The Nihilist in Golf Pants - http://www.nihlist.blogspot.com/
4 Bogus Gold - http://bogusgold.com/
5 SD63 - http://sd63.blogspot.com/
6 Cake Eater Chronicles - http://cakeeaterchronicles.mu.nu/
7 The Kool Aid Report - http://koolaidreport.blogspot.com/
8 Fraters Libertas - http://www.fraterslibertas.com/
9 The Kool Aid Report - http://koolaidreport.blogspot.com/
10 Wonkette - (URL currently unavailable)
11 The Kool Aid Report - http://koolaidreport.blogspot.com/
12 The Power Liberal - http://powerliberal.blogspot.com/
13 The Kool Aid Report - http://koolaidreport.blogspot.com/

THE BLOGS IN ANALOG: GROIN INJURIES.

Absolute zero.

Unfortunately for Jermaine O'Neal and the Indiana Pacers, a torn groin [shutter] will sideline the formidable power forward for 8 weeks. Fortunately for the rest of us, 99.7% of all bloggers are men, meaning few can overcome the empathy pains to write about it. Even the sole blogger who did so had trouble finishing the post.

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