Not that the NBA is real basketball, but the Pacers are in trouble:
Jermaine O'Neal is expected to miss at least eight weeks with a left groin tear, leaving the Indiana Pacers without their leading scorer and rebounder.
He tore his groin???!!!
[Here LearnedFoot crosses his legs in an uncomfortable fashion.]
Sweet. Holy. Crap.
He tore his groin!
Owie owie owie owie owie!