Tuesday, January 17, 2006

God's Message for Susan Lenfestey

As long as God had me on the horn, He wanted me to to transmit His displeasure to frequent Strib drooling idiot contributor, Susan Lenfestey. While the excerpt of Lenfestey's opinion piece (of shit) that God links to below is bad enough, it is by far not the most brain-meltingly dumb part of the spiteful, factually and logically challenged column. Therefore readers are advised to, as always, use caution when clicking through and reading her drivel.

Dear Loser,

Today, I read that you wrote the following:

But the agonizing vigil in West Virginia, with its soaring uplift of a false miracle making the plunge into sodden grief all the more wrenching, did have a way of calling both Bush and God into question.

Oh yeah? Well question this.

BTW, you may want to watch out for that refrigerator-sized meteorite vectoring toward your head.

Oops, too late.

Ffffssssstssssssssssscccchhhhhhtttttttttttttttt....

BLA-FLOOM-SKLORCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(PROPHET's NOTE: this is the closest approximation I could make to the sound of a flaming meteorite flattening an effete elitist spite-filled harpy to one twenty-eighth of an inch and then incinerating her.)

No hard feelings? Good.

Warm regards,

God

FURTHER PROPHET'S NOTE: Unlike the messages to Pat Robertson and "Mayor" Nagin, the preceding was merely a figment of my imagination - a cathartic release that needed to be vented after years of subjecting myself to Susan's pathetic MoveOn-approved rantings. Susan is still alive and remains her old miserable self, unscathed by space debris.

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