Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I got your ban right here

Yet another letter fawning over the recent smoking ban found its way into the SPPP today.

Who’d a thunk it?

This one comes from Lashell Barnes of St. Paul. Lashell is happy that our children will no longer be exposed to secondhand smoke while bellied up to the bar.

Now, I’d like to propose a new ban: One that really will solve a physical and mental public health crisis.

I propose we ban the noxious fumes emitted when Lashell and his/her like-minded Fascist friends spew their worthless, goddamned opinions.

Keep you brats out of the bars, Lashell. Let them drink at home where the only foul air they’ll be exposed to is the anti-freedom bullshit you cough up.

I am so damned sick and tired of reading letters from the nanny-state loving, do-gooders who think government should have unlimited power to protect them from every possible danger.

Put on your hardhat, Lashell, an acorn might fall from that mighty oak and strike you in the noggin. Don’t forget to put on your spiked shoes. You might slip on the ice and hurt yourself.

Get off our backs you pigs!!! Live you cloistered, hyper-protective little lives by yourselves, have food brought in – make sure it’s been sterilized first, and leave the rest of us alone.

You hover over your children protecting them from every threat – real and, in this case, imagined. You are turning the little nippers into psychos that are incapable of surviving in the real world.

You’re turning out a bunch of antisocial beings that are afraid of their own shadows.

My kids are going to run roughshod over yours because they’ve experienced and survived difficulties. They understand and welcome competition.

They see the world as something to conquer, not to fear.

Your kids are screwed.

(insert diabolical laughter here)

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