Thursday, January 19, 2006

The KAR Good Ole Boy Funtime Moonshine Hillbilly Hoedown Sing-along Jamboree

BILL: Everybody ready for our Thursday madrigal?

HEAD O' ALFREDO GARCIA: I brought my jaw harp!

LEARNEDFOOT: You play the jaw harp?

HOAG: Yes. I play 735 different instruments.

BILL: Alrightee, then. Start it up Head.

HOAG: [playing jaw harp] Boing de de boing de de boing de de boing...

BILL: A one, and a two, and a one two three...

[Singing]

LF: Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight; gonna grab some afternoon delight.

BILL: My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right. Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.

HOAG: When everything's a little clearer in the light of day. And you know the night is always gonna be there any way.

SPECIAL GUEST VOCALIST, J.B. DOUBTLESS: Skyrockets in flight!

BILL: Yee hah!

JB: Afternoon delight!

EVERYBODY: A-a-afternoon delight!

JAW HARP: Boing de de boing de de boing de de boing de de...

DEMENTEE: THINK OF YOU WORK UP APPETITE!!!!!!! LOOK FORWARD TO LITTLE AFTERNOON DELIGHT!!!

LF: Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite; and the thought of rubbin' you-

I am NOT singing the rest of that f***ing line!

JB: Skyrockets in flight!

BILL: Yee hah!

JB: Afternoon delight!

EVERYBODY: A-a-afternoon delight.

JAW HARP: Boing de de boing de de boing de de boing de de...

BILL: Started out this morning feeling so polite; I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite.

DEM: BUT YOU GOT BAIT A-WAITING AND ME THINK ME MIGHT TRY NIBBLE LITTLE AFTERNOON DELIGHT!!!!!!!!

JB: Skyrockets in flight!

BILL: Yee hah!

JB: Afternoon delight!

EVERYBODY: A-a-afternoon delight!

[Jaw harp solo]

LF: Please be waiting for me baby when I come around. We could make a lot of lovin' 'fore the sun goes down.

EVERYBODY: Sky rockets in flight!

BILL: Yee hah!

EVERYBODY: Afternoon delight! A-a-afternoon delight! A-a-afternoon delight!

[Clapping]

BILL: Great job everybody! And thanks for dropping by to sing with us, JB.

JB: Wouldn't have missed it for anything. Afternoon Delight is one of the best songs ever written. (*) Do you always have these Thursday hoedowns?

LF: Nah. We only drag out the Starland Vocal Band when it's absolutely necessary. It has proven to be very effective.

JB: Ah, I see.

* Actual opinion held by JB Doubtless.

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