Moron Mail Mad Libs

Remember Mad Libs? You know, that game where certain words are excised from a short story, and the players need to fill in those words without seeing the context into which they will be inserted. I thought it would be fun to do with Moron Mail.

And yes, I am aware that in this context "Mad Libs" makes for a delicious pun.

Play with you're friends. When you're done, compare your completed Moron Mail Mad Lib with the real letter to see if your version makes more sense (hint: it will). Maybe post it to comments or your own blog if you find it worthy.

BATTLE OVER CIVIL UNIONS

Attacking gay [PLURAL NOUN]

Does [FICTIONAL VILLIAN] of the [FICTIONAL OR MADE-UP ORGANIZATION NAME] ("Same-sex 'civil unions' are merely a foot in the door," Jan. 9) offer any alternatives for [ADJECTIVE] and [ADJECTIVE] families now that he has condemned both same-sex [NOUN] and [NOUN]?

It seems to me that civil unions [VERB (PAST TENSE)] a [NOUN] on a hotly debated issue, protecting "traditional" [NOUN (PLURAL)], but still affording gay and lesbian [NOUN (PLURAL)] with some [NOUN].

It's hard not to see [WORLD RELIGION] as anything but mean-spirited, and their movement seems to have the primary goal of ensuring [LEFTY TROPE].

ANDY [BODILY FUNCTION], [NAME OF PLANET OR CELESTIAL BODY]

I'll be back in a moment with a completed version, once I find a victim.

UPDATE: Here's what I got:

BATTLE OVER CIVIL UNIONS

Attacking gay puppies

Does Snidley Whiplash of the Super Cool Dudes Club ("Same-sex 'civil unions' are merely a foot in the door," Jan. 9) offer any alternatives for fluffy and stinky families now that he has condemned both same-sex toilets and beer?

It seems to me that civil unions barfed a television on a hotly debated issue, protecting "traditional" boogers, but still affording gay and lesbian tractors with some popcorn.

It's hard not to see Zoroastrianism as anything but mean-spirited, and their movement seems to have the primary goal of ensuring HALLIBURTON!.

ANDY DIGESTION, KUYPER BELT ASTEROID # 2894

Yep. Much better. Now you try it.

MORE: Chief at Freedom Dogs does one. Read it now.

Yeah. I think this will become a regular feature.

EVEN MORE: The Mayor gets Mad. Notable for this line:

...protecting "traditional" minivans, but still affording gay and lesbian coffee filters with some meat.