Monday, January 23, 2006

Moron Mail Super Quiz

NOTE: The Monday Moron Mail Mad Lib is on a brief hiatus, while KAR brings you this special edition interactive quiz.

Answer the following question:

Which of the following was an actual letter to the Strib published on Sunday?

A) It seems to me that every time the Bush administration's fortunes fall to new lows, his old friend Osama sends us another message letting us know how safe Big Brother has kept us. I hate to sound too partisan, but how many of these does Mr. Rove have saved for future consumption?

ELMER FUDD, MINNEAPOLIS.

B) Okay, here's what I've discovered: the Rand Corporation, in conjuction with the saucer people, uder the supervision of the reverse vampires, are FORCING our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner!

We're through the looking glass here, people!

MILHOUS VAN HOUTEN, SPRINGFIELD.

C) Hey Guido. It's all so clear to me now: I'm the keeper of the cheese. And you're the lemon merchant.

Get it?

And he knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we have to beat it. Before he lets loose the marmosets on us!

REN HOECK, HOLLYWOOD YUGOSLAVIA.

D) Hey, I know what's wrong with your truck. It's your quote-unquote "pollution control". I heard on talk radio you don't even need 'em. They're just an egghead government plot.

Open up your eyes, people! They're trying to control global warming!

Get it? GLO-BAL!

That's code for U.N. commissars telling Americans what temperature it's going to be in our outdoors. I say, let the world warm up! See what Boutros Boutros-By-Golly thinks about that! We'll grow oranges in Alaska!

RUSTY SHACKLEFORD, ARLEN.

E) All of the above.

F) None of the above.

...

ANSWER: A. While B, C, and D were all actually written (and later uttered) by someone, only the letter in answer A actually appeared in the Strib.

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