Thursday, January 12, 2006

Moron Mail

Everything you learned in high school civics class is wrong. Well, some of it anyway. An "expert" explains it to us:

Some lingering worries

I listened to Monday's opening statement of Judge Samuel Alito to the Senate committee tasked with the first step in approving or disapproving his appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court.

While he was eloquent and persuasive in stating that, as Justice Alito, he would valiantly uphold the rule of law, as a future justice, his task will also be to tell us definitively what the law is and to vote to change it if necessary.

STOP!!!!!

[Shaking head]

[Piching bridge of nose]

...

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!

I'm scouring the Constitution, WestLaw, my old bar exam prep materials, and nowhere - NOWHERE - can I find that the role of the judiciary in general, and the Supreme Court in particular, is to tell "us" what the law is.

And I sure as hell can't find anything about the Court "voting" to "change" "laws".

On the other hand, in those sources I am finding all kinds of stuff about justices "applying the facts of the case to the law" and "weiging the constitutionality of state actions" and some nonsense about "original jurisdiction" for cases concerning certain federal issues and some other nonsense about "diversity jurisdiction" for cases involving citizens of different states.

I'm sure that these sources must be failing me, because the letter writer's view is that of the liberal establishment - that the Supreme Court (or the judiciary in general) makes law, rather than interprets or applies it. And since he's a liberal, he must be smarter than me, and all those authors of all those laws and law books. They always like to tell us that.

So now I'm confused.

We have three law-making branches. Who knew? I feel myself slipping...

For a potential Supreme Court justice, a vow to uphold the rule of law -- which does no more than reaffirm a vow he made when admitted to the bar -- is not enough to justify a Senate vote for confirmation.

WILLIAM MCPOOPOOHEAD, EDINA

And with that insipid statement, here is where I descend into madness:

Bleeblebleeblebleeblebleeblebleeblebleeble wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

I don't trust the cheese Mort. No siree. It's colors are melting into the walls in a perfect translusence which I shall henceforth call "water balloons"....

Teeehee he he he he hee he he he he he he he he he he.

Snorky snork!

I'm gonna fly. I'm gonna fly. I'm gonna flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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